Termperature's Fine

A really rough week

2012-02-17T23:33:00.000-08:00

I have all kinds of things which I keep bottled up inside and won't let out even in a blog. I have been reading many blogs, most about historical people who in all truth only a few fanatical type people really like to read. I keep up with a few but end up finding them very boring as well. But since I am into the past myself at times, I will share this tidbit here.

I wish I could draw or paint well. I can paint passably portraits and even do some sketches halfway decently but none good enough to be called artistic.

I had a vision of Alexander last evening. I have had what is called spontaneous memories many times, and I am not sure that memory is always the correct term for some things that I do experience. But last night (and most occur when resting and often in bed) I was trying to get to sleep but was thinking about the lottery game when I saw Alexander on a horse. He was dressed in full armor as he was about to lead in some battle and I cannot say which one, but this appearance really impressed me. I can still see it in my mind as I try to keep these incidents as alive as long as possible.

He was wearing a beautiful silver cuirass which was ornamental as it had many engraved reliefs, but it shone so brightly that it reminded me of the helmet that I had once seen which shone so brightly (that was for Gaugemela I am sure) but in this he was inspecting something around his leg and the dressings upon his horse. He was so confident, so relaxed and sure that I gained an insight into him. He had his helmet on with white plumes accenting the silvery helmet also...He was truly spectacular and this set of armor would have been quite an expensive and intensive piece of work to have accomplished. It showed me how much in real regard he is held by others who work for him, as well as his attitude came out so strongly to me....I cannot explain how these things occur but they do impact me and give me some insights into myself.

One thing is for sure, Alexander is one who knew how to conduct himself, and I could sense why it is that people relied upon him and his leadership, seldom ever questioning it. He had that youthful certainty that clearly defined his ability to rule.

Valentine's Day, 2012

2012-02-14T19:09:00.000-08:00

I had to take all my plants indoors last evening since the weathergirl forecast cold and rain. Sadly, she was correct as dark gloomy clouds swept into the region late today bringing with it low temperatures so that it was cold outside. I stayed indoors all day as a result, besides having been up til four o'clock in the morning. I could not get to sleep last night and so was up and down until finally I wore myself out and fell asleep shortly after 4 in the morning. I slept til 11 then and got up unable to get around at all. I was so slow, tired, and dragged out that I did little but reread my novel which I had just printed, and rechecked my lottery game.

It turns out that I won't be able to play the lottery game until March. I have to be able to work it so that I don't lose anything so it will take me that long to get this thing brought under control.

I wish I could make it happen, but lotteries are contemptibly difficult. The number 3 is cold right now and recently, most of the cold numbers have begun to hit. 3 and 15 are the two that have not hit in recent draws so there is always the chance that one or the other will come in tomorrow night.

I have decided to maintain the logging in of the numbers but will have to wait until I have enough ready cash to spend to bet on it. So I am sticking with horses right now.

There is a contest on to name to the foal of Rachel Alexandra and Curlin. Nice prize for the winner to go to the farm to tour and see the horses. That is quite a worthwhile prize but to have the name that you chose picked for a horse means a lot to me.

I am inclined towards the father's name Curlin coupled with the owner's name who has passed away, Jesse. Alexandra is overused so much that it would be nice to hear Jesse Curlin coming down the stretch.

I may submit it. Doubt that it would be chosen but I like the sounds of it.

Birthday

2012-02-12T21:21:00.000-08:00

Yes, I turned 73 yesterday, and even took a picture of self to post on facebook for a ten year lookback if I make it to 83. I have a couple from childhood that I took of self so that it is always intriguing to see how age affects us...frankly, never as much as you would think...all those images that are presented to us do not really happen.

Truthfully, physical pain is more noticeable as time passes for I realize that the joints, muscles, and spine do twinge enough to make me notice them. For many years, I was very lucky not to have any aches or pains...not so any longer...I feel them all right, sleep later, seem to need more sleep, and honestly eat less than when I was younger. You would think I would lose weight, but hormones or whatever do not bring that about at all. I have not changed weight wise in the past 30 years.

Hope is still strong to achieve some of my goals before I die syndrome...want to travel worldwide and want to write a novel or two if I can get the right computer for that goal.

So all in all, 73 is not much different from yesterday at 72...probably time creeps up on us so that we don't always realize it...but I do fight it a lot with hair color, as the gray is a sure clue, and I am getting more and more. The wrinkles do appear also but only slightly yet...

I think the worst part of age is tiredness and memory losses...they happen frequently...so it goes...now to take on the world for another ten years...

Book Review of Memnon by Scott Oden

2012-02-07T22:15:00.000-08:00

Years ago Scott Oden published a book on Memnon of Rhodes, a mercenary soldier who is famous mostly for having given Alexander the Great a rough time of it at two battles in Alexander's history: Granicus and Hallicarnassus. He also had known Alexander when Alexander was a child as it is often mentioned about the ambassadors from Persia who came to see about Artabazus and Memnon in exile at Pella, King Philip's Palace in Macedon.

I know nothing about Scott until I sent Marcus Pailing a copy of my first draft on Alexander, and Scott and some other authors dropped in to make comments about it. So far as I know, Scott has not seen my first draft since it was only available to be read at Alexander-Macedon discussion group.

Because Marcus Pailing had reviewed another childhood book on Kindle by Amazon which had some features similar to mine, I had asked him to read mine to see if there was any chance that they were similar in any way except for timelines.

He apparently perused it to let me know that there was no likely chance that they are alike. I do not know if he has read much of mine or not. Ann Katrin is reading it thoroughly, that I do know, and I learned how important that had been to me.

At any rate, due to Scott's being kind enough to make comments about the possible book I might finally deliver, I decided to read his book Memnon.

Scott is a great writer for those who love military history, battles, and even romance. Surprisingly enough, he is also a very accomplished writer of vivid details regarding background, landscapes, paraphernalia such as uniforms, minutiae such as coins and artwork, subtleties in observation that create mood and texture to the novel.

He has created a Memnon who is both admirable and heroic to a point, but who falls flat finally when one realizes that he is more a caricature of other famous Greek literary figures, Paris and Odysseus than truly being developed fully in character and substance as a great man. He has the potential but inevitably fails.

He has written a great fight scene that holds my attention to the finish. Memnon opens in his homeland of Rhodes, in which we learn of the expectation for Memnon to become a great heroic character, another Alcibiades if you will, which is his father, Timocrates, dream. Little is actually known historically of Memnon's family and past, but this fictitious introduction creates a Memnon who thinks for himself, and does not live up to his father's dreams for him. Memnon simply wants to put out to see with Patron, a sailor, and sets out to do just that...However, Rhodes is in trouble, and a great battle breaks out between the Persians and the Rhodian democrats so that we early on gain the sense of the strength and power of Memnon who takes on all comers to handle his opponents deftly and courageously. Oden is extremely capable and talented in his raising Memnon to heroic proportions.

Romance is also part of this novel in which Memnon is likened to both Paris and Odysseus with the introduction of a daughter of Artabazus, Barsine, who eventually becomes his version of Helen or Penelope. Barsine is an interesting character for me personally as she is also the mistress of Alexander who bears a child, Heracles, (Hercules) by him. However, before Alexander, she has had to be the wife of two brothers, Mentor and Memnon. Scott develops the reason for the two marriages, and uses her as the cause of the story to honor Memnon's memory through the narration of his tale and life.

If you are not familiar with the story of Helen of Troy, the most beautiful woman in the world, you will not understand why it is that Memnon apologizes for his earlier contempt of Paris who had to steal a wife from another man, but realizes why when he sees Barsine as a beauty worthy enough to warrant stealing her...apologies are due to Paris for his theft of Helen from her homeland...Penelope is the faithful wife of Odysseus who waits patiently for his return and foils her admirers with her weaving to wait her husbands return so again Barsine is likened to the faithful wife and the wandering distant spouse. Scott is obviously a very romantic man in his concept of Memnon and Barsine...using this as a way of also attacking Alexander in the final stages of love.

All this caught my attention as I am writing my own version of Barsine and Alexander and have cast her as a kind of forbidden love to the young Alexander who also sees her great beauty and charm long before he is finally able to have her as his own mistress/wife?

Scott does use the author's so called privilege to alter a few facts of history...if there are truly such things as bona fide facts...one is regarding Pausanias and the other is regarding Hermeias...both are integral to my version so it became obvious to me when he rerouted the stories a bit, to have Memnon guilty of capturing and torturing and chaining Hermeias...In reality, Memnon is responsible for Hermeias being taken to Susa to be tortured there by the King, not by Memnon. He is said to have been crucified there and this is very important to understand that Hermeias, a eunuch, whose niece is married to Aristotle, was the patron of Aristotle at that time. Aristotle was so outraged at the barbaric act waged against Hermeias that it impacted the young students, Alexander, especially, at Mieza. So the reality is such that Aristotle would never have treated Memnon kindly at all had they chanced to meet. However, Scott does pervert history a bit with both the stories of Pausanias and Hermeias to suit his narrative about Memnon.

Nothing wrong with that unless you are totally ignorant of the historical version and believe that fiction is more powerful than fact/truth.

I admit I am a bit rigid in sticking to the truth while developing the story. In Scott's tale, Barsine has a daughter by each one of the brothers, but in reality, the only child mentioned that is hers is Heracles, son of Alexander.

On that note, since at this site I do mention my previous insights into the past through my memory recollections, I will say that I had seen Heracles, a beautiful golden haired child who looks like Alexander as a child as well, and I am certain of Barsine's carefully correct appearance as a Persian lady as well. Interesting to me that it is Barsine who always wears hair coverings of veils while Roxanne always has her hair long and free, as has had Olympias.

I digressed a bit but this is after all my blog so I feel free to note these things as I go along.

Anyway,Memnon soon becomes a kind of character that one realizes is the foe of Alexander as written by Scott Oden. While Memnon will not allow his soldiers to malign Alexander, Scott does put words in their mouths that sound more like commentary from today's current critics rather than those of yesteryear...I do not believe that any soldier would have said some of the things that he has put in their mouth. In that sense, he slipped into a lapse of time periods.

He follows the history fairly well with the demise of the Rhodian whose fate is to learn that Zeus, god of the Greeks, favors Alexander's role in history rather than his. I liked Scott's book, but I would imagine that those who were opposed to Alexander in his conquests were as mean and nasty as was General Memnon. I rather imagine many made the mistake of underestimating the youthful Alexander in his determination to attain his dream and goal. At least, General Memnon does recognize the daemon in Alexander that qualified him as a true heroic leader.

There is both disdain and admiration for Philip's son who will soon be the ruler of the entire Asian kingdom, including all of Egypt, Greece, Macedon, Persia, and surrounding nations. Through Memnon's eyes, we get a glimpse of the future King of the World. While Memnon rebukes Alexander's offer of friendship in Oden's book, I rather doubt that Alexander would have recognized him as anything but a foe due to the role he had played in the affair of Hermeias and Aristotle. Aristotle is like a second father to Alexander, and knowing that Memnon had been responsible for Hermeias's demise would have angered Alexander. In that respect, I will have to challenge Scott on his altering the truth in that way.

However, I found the book fun to read as I liked all the descriptions of locations, armament, fight scenes, and hardness in Memnon's character. I would not have it any other way...

Alexander got Neutered today

2012-02-07T21:24:00.000-08:00

I am not one fit for surgery as I am always over hyper anxious about not having stitches get infected, pulled, or otherwise turn bad on me so I had quite a time with Alexander when we got home...he wants to lick his wounds and I won't let him since I have instructions which say specifically do not lick or chew wound...finally, I gave him some pain medicine and he is fast asleep. Poor little guy. He has been put through a lot today.

And naturally, Sandra would call while I was at Starbucks waiting to go to the vet to get him...I met a nice clerk at the Starbucks which is next to the shopping center by the vet's office. I was able to work on computer with their free wifi and have a long tall caramel machiatto and was I ever a bit disturbed at the guy who made it as I know very well that they can be blended but he just wanted to stir it...did not like him...

But since I bought a big one I stayed awhile til it was done and as I am a slow drinker, I was able to get quite a bit done on my computer.

They want me to buy an e collar but I did not do it...I made some homemade stuff. i bought a microchip for him even though he is a house cat. I had heard a story of a cat reunited with his family after getting lost and it was only due to the microchip that they were able to find the family. Cats can jump out of cars in case of accident and get lost, so while I do not think that will ever happen, I would also have proof he is mine if someone stole him from me. So I bought it as I expect him to live for many years.

He is waking up now. He had been sleeping...He is psychic and seems to know whenever I think of him...One of us is for sure as whenever I am thinking of him he usually jumps onto the bed to walk all over me...He cannot and should not jump now til he is fully healed.

Super Bowl Sunday continued

2012-02-05T22:31:00.000-08:00

I have returned to my apartment after watching the superbowl game at the clubroom. Nobody was there for a long time until late in the fourth quarter when a woman tried to get in the door...I let her in and reminded her to get her cards to open the door. We have no passkeys made to get in and out of the clubhouse since someone had stolen a t.v. there. It now locks itself automatically. It took me awhile to learn the art of turning on lights everywhere.

Boston might never ever understand the way the game turned after I saw the NYTimes enter the news feed at facebook with a live blog discussion so being curious I went to the site to see how it worked, and joined in the discussion. It was kind of fun to watch the game and be able to make comments. I read them as fast as they came on and even entered some of my own.
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I had read this story of a camel who has picked the winners of games, so I was basing my taking sides in the game on his prediction. He turned out to be right after all. The Giants did finally come up to win after I entered the Times discussion group. If this sounds repetitious it is because I am in a different environment which always affects the way I write and think.

Has facebook ever revealed and exposed the number of unhappy campers in the world who like to say mean, nasty things on the comment sections. I never knew that people could be so obscene, negative, mean, ugly, killer, and demonic until I read these comments at Facebook.

And this about a super bowl game...super bowl is two words I learned today but I continue to write it both ways.

Super Bowl Sunday

2012-02-05T18:10:00.000-08:00

I am using the clubhouse to see the superbowl since I do not have a t.v. of my own to watch this on. I have a tiny ten inch digital on which I get a few channels but nbc is not one of them any longer. In fact, I did purchase it to see the olympics years ago but because of the location for some reason some channels dropped out of the reception area...we have a nice t.v. in the clubhouse now and I was all alone for awhile but recently a lady came in. She kept trying to get in with her keys but they have changed the locks so one mst have a pass card to get in. I opened the door for her to come in so she is here watching the game with me,
Can't tell what is going on now as someone fumbled the ball but the Giants have recovered it. I spend the time watching commercials and write during the ballgame so I never know what is happening in the game much unless it is so noisy I have to check. But she is reacting now so I know that it is getting pretty exciting.

I finally found pinterest thanks to Sandra Gulland. It is another new thing on the internet to get pictures on the net. I often wonder about how all these groups make the money that they do through these activities. I have enough to do just keeping up with facebook and my discussion groups and mail. I can't devote my whole life to a computer system.

but Sandr had an interesting video on publishers and agents that frankly is enough to scare the hell out of anyone. I had not thought that that is the way that publishers and agents look and sound so that it frankly annoyed the daylights out of me to think it. Getting a book written is difficult enough to do but to have to put up with shitty publishing firms may be more of a problem than I had previously thought. Thanks, Sandra, I needed to see the insides of what could be an attitude.
I will close to see the remainder of the game.

Louis XIV as Alexander the Great

2012-02-05T11:20:00.001-08:00

I have a book called Ages of Kings which is a book about the times of King Louis XIV. It was through my spirit guide that I learned of Alexander after I had learned of Louis XIV. I later found this book and this tapestry. It has always amused me. Alexander and Louis bear no resemblance to one another at all physically but the information that I learned from within about
each has created this intense interest in each one of them. I continue to investigate both kings avidly.

the power of Memnon

2012-02-01T22:12:00.000-08:00

Today I went to the local Phoenix library known as Burton Barr to get a book by Scott Oden called Memnon. General Memnon is a Greek mercenary who actually fights for King Darius of Persia. He is a general who Alexander met at his own home when Memnon was held captive by King Philip. Alexander was only seven years old at that time for it is the time that the Persian ambassadors and delegation came to obtain the release of Memnon and two others who were also being held captive. It is possible that Alexander then met Barsine who was Memnon's wife, as some historians maintain that most likely Alexander had met up with her when he was a child before he finally obtained her as a spoil of war. He later became enamored with her so that there is some dispute whether she was mistress or wife but she did bear him his first child. Incidentally, when I asked for proof that I had been Alexander in yesteryear, his child Heracles, or Hercules, is one of the visions that I recall vividly giving him some proof. Also I did see Barsine who was wearing a heavy shawl or veil over her head in the custom of the then Persian women. She was who I believe probably influenced Alexander most in his adoption of Persian attire which aroused so much annoyance with his army.

Oh my, I started to tell how I had to go from point a several miles by bus to get the rail to go many more miles to Burton Barr just to get this book which I have begun to read. I digress a lot at times.

In the process I nearly got myself killed...I had just written a post to my friend Joan telling how yesterday I had thought I was going to die...I was in a dream and found myself falling into a black abyss of some kind and I knew that if I fell I would die, so something nudged me back up to wake up and an inner voice told me, No, you are not going to die...you are going to be well and I forced myself up out of my sleep and to walk to Basha's to get some bread. The point is that as I felt as though I were going to die, I felt the freedom that accompanies death, free from all earthly matters, but I did not want to die...so I guess I made myself get up...then at the library I found this awful film called Black Swan which I have started but put on hold because of its psychodrama....wheee...I understood too well where this film is going now but am not quite ready for it.

However, all of that made me know that I must put my house in order. yet today when getting off the train, I was very bad girl. I actually ran out in front of the train. The engineer did not like it, blew his whistle, and then I ran out into oncoming cars and ran so fast as lightning which was all very exhilirating despite the near calamity of it all...I was truly crazy to do that I admit and I said to myself, bad girl, I am not suicidal at all...and I am not but I had not counted on cars coming so fast at me...a girl saw me and caught up with me who said she liked how I did that...I was fast as lightning when I saw those cars coming at me...I could have been hit...so afterward, I waited for all lights before crossing, my form of repentance for past sins...don't we always do that?

This Alexander thing has a real hold on me, doesn't it seem?

Oh, I laugh at myself all the time about my former lives...Right now, on that note, too, abovetopsecret is saying that the photos of bin Laden's corpse may be released soon. I wish that they would be. I would like to see them, gruesome or not.

Will close at this point...I have spent too much time on broadband.

Monday Night

2012-01-30T23:06:00.001-08:00

The Bachelor is a very strange show in which a contestant who was previously rejected for a bachelorette has the chance to select his own true love from 25 carefully chosen eligible beauties, naturally. You think we will ever see an obviously ordinary plain Jane in this bunch. Never. So this poor guy has to date, kiss,hug, and feign interest in each young woman who is obviously falling in love with him for the show's audience to think that she really wants to marry this guy. He is a CUTIE of course but pretends he is interested in each having already decided which girl he really wants, so we think. (A spoiler alerted us to this fact before the show began.). Girls ate crying everywhere as they are sent home knowing that this guy never really considered them at all. Tension is high. Nerves are shattered. Not to worry. All the trips to exotic places like Puerto Rico and panama are worth the trauma.

Learning how to Blog Well

2012-01-28T20:44:00.000-08:00

There are a number of videos on youtube which introduce one to blogging. Some of the better blogs are on my pages...Peter Olson's photography blog is one of the most informative and unusual blogs that I have seen and I like it a lot. He focuses on Paris but he also has a Where Am I group as well. Peter is a guide in Paris as well as blogger so that if one is very lucky, one might be able to find him to escort a newbie around the City of Lights.

I am considering blogging a novel since my pal Melanie Clegg has advised it. It may actually be a means of finding an agent and editor so that one could have it turned into a book as google ads have often asked if I want to turn my blog into a book. Why not write the book on a blogsite and then have it converted into a marketable book? I am contemplating that at this moment, having studied a few of the blogs that I follow.

I found another blog from a fellow Alexanderphile, Ruth Kozak and I posted one of her blogs on facebook. I hope that she did not mind my doing that with her story about the Greeks taking umbrage at a magazine making sport of the goddess Athena.

I found the story rather amusing and the Greek's reaction just as amusing. One must not make fun of Greek gods and goddesses even today. I actually respect that a lot and do admire the Greeks who were smart enough to defend an ancient belief.

I will probably post this at facebook too just to explain my position.

Shrieking Cat

2012-01-24T22:01:00.000-08:00

My cat has for some reason or other decided to shriek in the night and it is driving me slowly mad...it insures his getting neutered since I think that it must be his male hormones working overtime...all day he was quiet and fine but now once again when the moon comes out, he thinks he has to meow loudly, not even softly, but at the top of his lungs and it is very annoying as I do not want my neighbor coming down screaming at me to shut my cat up.

Otherwise, the last two days have been perfectly beautiful weatherwise but awful things wise. Someone is playing games with my other laptop computer and I am very concerned about how and why. I do not dare even say what it is although today I did not use it but one time to see that nothing is going on with it.

I notice these things right away but as everyone knows I think that my computer is bugged as well as too often under attack.

This has been another one of those rough months. I am going to test the use of this blogger in my next post. I am thinking of beginning a different blog but I want to check something out before I do that.

This business of trying to be an author in a world where nothing but junk sells is somewhat annoying. The publishing houses want big names, stars, famous people, etc. to be the selling tool for books. Once one gets that much acclaim then it is a real problem to always keep up with your own work effort, producing book after book in the same genre.

I just stopped reading a book called Survivors because the subject itself annoyed me so much...I don't like doomsday books which in fact do have an element of truth in them. This one has been promised for so long since people actually do want self destruction so that they can make great profits from them.

In this case, the entire economy has collapsed, inflation is at an all time high, and riots and theft is running rampant everywhere. I did not finish the book as it is the type I dislike to think could ever happen.

So why did it get published? Which publishing giant wants people to read that kind of junk? I wish I knew sometimes.

So it goes...

Sunday, January 22, 2012

2012-01-22T12:23:00.000-08:00

This has thus far been a quiet weekend. The furtherest I traveled yesterday was to Walgreen's to get some fixodent with my $1.50 coupon and to the clubhouse where I used the wifi connection. I am at the clubhouse this morning as well. Earlier, there were two rude people talking loudly but after I turned on a video with full sound they left the place so that I now have peace and quiet.

I received a note from Ann Katrin letting me know how far she has read into my novel. I did not realize how important it was to me to have her read it. She makes great comments so that I like her responses to the draft and I had had no idea that I had needed that. Often we do not know how hungry we really are until we get a bite to eat.

When one writes a novel to let the world know a bit of himself, so really, after all, isn't that what a writer is doing, sharing himself with the world, it is a bit awesome.

I am so long familiar with the storyline that I cannot imagine how others will react to it. I need a good editor and so I need to learn how to find one.

I have thought of posting it all as a blog so that it can be read by those who really simply want to read it. I am still deliberating that idea in my head. Often times, one's work is not so much to be paid in any way but to be read. And then of course, to be recognized and discussed. But if one gets a few cents or dollars for it, that is all gravy on the plate.

When one writes for the dollar, one has to pander to other people's wants and wishes. That is all that most politicians do, simply pander, lie, cheat, and steal. That is a modern day definition of a politician any more. We all can see that now with the current crop of wannabees.

But I could pander too if I had to do this for a living. I doubt that with as many voices in the world to be heard, that a simple novel will make waves. But it is a means to express one's own true feelings about the subject.

Cat Problems

2012-01-21T23:01:00.000-08:00

I do not know what is wrong with my cat but he was up all night screeching and meowing loudly driving me crazy. I decided that it could be because of his male hormones so determined to have him neutered in the first of February. He is screeching again tonight which is getting on my nerves a lot. I do not know what to make of him. I took him outdoors for awhile. I think that he is probably a bit stircrazy but whenever the slightest sound occurs outdoors he quickly runs indoors. He has not become used to outdoor sounds yet at all so he is in a real dilemma as to what to do. I will try to get some sleep tonight...meow!

Netbook Problems

2012-01-21T16:37:00.000-08:00

I am in the clubhouse using the wifi since I am getting too many hours on my allowance at broadband, but this computer is making me very angry. I just wrote a long post here that had to be deleted because something on this computer would not work properly...It suddenly freezes and I do not know why. I had to close the thing down to get it back up again...I don't like that at all.

This blog is going to become short paragraphs if that is the case. I did find that my mobile blog did work so I may use it. I find that I am using my cellphone computer more and more all the time but I can not forward anything with it.

This writing thing

2012-01-18T20:37:00.000-08:00

Years ago in southern California I had one of those creative writing classes that leaves one speechless and wondering...but one thing I learned from this class conducted by a woman named Shanley is that there are such things as archetypes. Archetypes are things in common shared by many. An example of an archetype in childhood is the business of being thrown high into the air and falling into the arms of a loving parent, brother, sister, nephew, cousin, grandparent, etc.etc.etc. I mention this because I am naturally thinking about my book on the childhood of Alexander in which I have him thrown into the air many times by his daring handsome father, Philip, king of Macedon.

So when I read a recent book by a current author who did the same thing to Queen Elizabeth I as a child I felt a bit awed by the fact that there are two of us who have experienced that in our own lives to use it in a book about a subject dear and close to our hearts. I always love throwing babies in the air myself and did it many times, and probably had it done to me too but alas I have forgotten all that infant stuff as memories of infancy have not stayed with me.

However, I have never forgotten childhood dreams...funny, isn't it, the things that we remember.

I am watching movies this week again. I checked out Sarah's Key, a movie about W.W.II during the rise of Hitler's Nazi regime, and this particular story takes place in Paris. It shows how the French handled the problem of rounding up Jews to send to The camps. Very interesting to imagine how the writers and directors were able to find this kind of material for a story. Whether true or not, it is a touching story which made me wonder at how many stories similar to this now about Gaza could be made. Why does not Israel learn its own lesson of the do unto them as you want done unto you?

Basically, the story is about a journalist whose marriage to a Frenchman is falling apart due to her becoming pregnant and wanting the child while he does not want the problem of childrearing one more time as they already have a teenage daughter. She learns of the story of a family who were forcibly taken from their home, while leaving one child behind to suffer tragedy in a closet due to his sister's Sarah's advice. Sarah as the sister who loves her brother suffers the rest of her life due to the events that take place causing her mother and father to be wrenched away from her. Some nice crusty Frenchmen help the poor child to escape the camp and find a home while a fellow deserter unfortunately dies from diphtheria so Sarah is left alone without family due to the war. She does meet a man, has a child, and that child plays a minor role in the story in which the journalist finds Sarah's only child and his father. The journalist leaves her husband to have her own child who she then names for the poor little Jewish girl whose love for her brother cost her dearly. It is a farfetched story but a Hollywood type film intending to show the trauma and dilemma the French average citizen faced while watching the Jews be treated inhumanely and dreadfully. A film in which one should be prepared and have kleenex handy. Hollywood fantasy in which the French have a heart, help the child at intervals, and also plead their own case for their part in the travesty of that evil war.

Fridsy the 13th and superstitions

2012-01-12T15:35:00.000-08:00

Today is a double 12 day and tomorrow is Friday the 13th. I do place some value in certain superstitions, but seldom let them control my life. However, due to the superstition about MacBeth I did decide not to attend a writer's workshop in Tempe. I had taught that play to a senior group of students at GHS and will maybe allow it to be an excuse, reason, or cause for continued belief that it brings only badluck to people. I had enough bad luck that year to buy into it a bit.

That is as much as I want to say about superstitions in this post.

Alexander

2012-01-11T20:44:00.001-08:00

You never know what will happen when you experiment. Will this image get posted?
I see now.

Last Man Standing & Mystic River

2012-01-11T17:06:00.000-08:00

I am putting this in writing. I know people get tired of my always warning them that when around me their words will likely come back to haunt them. But I have proof now that I have gathered in the past few weeks. First, I will begin with Mystic River, a movie that I finally saw thanks to the local lending library. This is a murder mystery and everyone knows I love a mystery.

Sean Penn and Tim Robbins both won Oscars for their performances in this strange film based upon a story by some guy name of Dennis deHane or something like that...only recollect vaguely so may be mistaken about author's name.

But the character I shall now discuss is the victim who is only 19. She is mysteriously killed but the weapon is a gun. When I saw one scene I immediately thought of Mark Anderson, a son of one of my friends and colleagues at GHS, who had one time stowed himself in the back of my car when visiting at his mother's house. I got in the car and started it up to have Mark suddenly speak up from the back seat literally scaring the daylights out of me...I was never so frightened but got over it reminding myself to lock my doors from now on....so my first thought when I saw that scene was of Mark and Lois. So later in a scene where this same girl is seen in a bar dancing on a counter with two other girls the light did not dawn until later...why yes, I had done that same thing but not in a bar, thus,not immediately seeing the similarity, but later on, realized oh yes, when Dave admits that she did not do a strip tease, that I had been on the bar doing just that, a lame version of a strip tease in my Hawaiian skirt.

Dunt da dunt ta...and I strolled down the counter, alone, with only two people to see me do this strange stunt, a student, and a counselor, and Lordy, Lordy, I was given the old talkto by the principal wondering what had come over me...all of a sudden I got the urge to jump on the counter and do a dance...dunt, da, dunt, da! Yeah, that went all around the campus and town and finally, oh, yea, now I see it all played back on the movie screen to realize...hmmmm....there are some similarities here, aren't there? But the story has changed a lot, but some things in it are pretty strangely alike...

so then last night Tim Allen has a show which I recognized immediately the dog (Mr. Big) and a picture of me especially made with a dog that is a Maltese also, and is in a photo album which is distributed to only a certain group that I am a qualified member so that I got the picture right now of where Tim got this idea,and so later in the same sitcom heard a line that made me think of my neighbor and friend Sandra and her son Elijah as in this case, the dog and cat are being switched also...Elijah had not missed his cat for three whole days, and I learned this after accepting this cat from friend Sandra, who is now my little angel Alexander. The dog was Dan's dog who I would also dogsit on occasions...so Tim and his cronies somehow or other managed to make a sitcom out of this event that was both cute, funny, poignant, and pertinent...very funny...as Alfonso of Florida court reporting school once said about me...if he had my memory, he would be a millionaire...I remembered that Sandra had said that Elijah had not even known he was gone for three days....I had him at that point I believe.

By the way, when Elijah finally became reunited as both remembered each other well, he said he was glad that I am the one who got him. He has grown so big and so beautifully well.

So my angel cat last night woke me up in the night to remind me to turn off my heat as I had turned the small space heater on for an hour to get rid of the chill...I overslept but suddenly I hear the cat meowing loudly so I would wake up...I got up and turned off the heater to go back to sleep. Good cat, my angel cat! He has his moments...

Gayest City in America

2012-01-10T15:24:00.000-08:00

On MSN toda there is a list of the top gay cities in the USA according to the Gay and Lesbian Advocate group, which turned out to be quite a surprise. Usually people think that it is San Francisco, but according to the Gay Advocate, it is Salt Lake City, Utah. They are using a different kind of yardstick to measure a most gay city so one must read the article. Why would anyone other than gays be interested in this, you may wonder, and I will explain.

Because the Republicans are still sounding very homophobic, it means that the common and ordinary citizen should learn the truth about the gay community himself in order to know what is really going on in the gay world which is now pretty much accepted, at least in Salt Lake City, and other cities who are dealing with this phenomena.

I cIn theannot explain why people choose to be gay. I do not believe that anyone is "born" to be gay, but rather adopts this lifestyle for a variety of reasons.

But despite all the efforts in the world to understand it, nobody is going to stamp it out and get rid of it so one must do the next best thing, which is learn how to live with it so that it does not harm you in any way.

What does this mean to society at large? Generally, that society will pay for it all one way or the other. Someone has to feed the coffers of the state's who offer compensation, so usually it will fall back on the common, ordinary normal guy who simply works for a living.

It is best for a family to know which communities are considered gay havens so that that family can determine how to rear one's children, how to explain abnormal or different behaviour, and how to deal with it. When blocks of people of a certain stereotype group together, whether artists in artists colonies, cowboys in rural communities, laboreres in manufacturing cities, one learns how to cope. The gay world is a specially oriented world which separates itself from the normm of family, dating and mating in the normal fashion of boy meets girl, and unlike the bachelor, settles into a married state and usually chooses suburbia in which to melt into the lifestyle of raising a family.

The few gays who actually want that kind of dosmestic bliss are being subjected to scrutiny as to the wisdom of becoming parents in which their children are denied the normal lifestyle of mom and pop. Momm and mom and pop and pop will always be a most unusual experience for any child to cope with when his fay parents choose to raise him amongst all the normal heterosexuals of the world.

Hollywood is trying to reeducate people into acceptance. I doubt that this will ever happen completely as most do fear the lifestyle of any abnormal or different concept than that which one knows and has become.

The important thing to remember is not to try to harness your beliefs upon someone else but to accept them for who and what they are, and let it be.

First week of new year

2012-01-06T20:45:00.000-08:00

I am going to put December behind me. So far, we are only six days into January, and the weather has been awesome. Nice temps during the day but cold at night.

I met the nicest man today at the track when inquiring about using wifi in the grandstand. He tried to put me in the clubhouse but I stayed on the grandstand side...one, it is easy to get outdoors to watch the horses, two, the machines are accessible, and three, there are always tables and chairs aplenty, and four, I am always a cheapskate at betting until I get into a run of luck.

I liked being able to use my computer there even though I used it for only a fraction of an hour as I was more into racing than into checking out information but I subscribe to a lot of blogs and info on horses so it did work for me.

However, my racing luck was not good. I did get a return on one horse but was unable to do well with any of the others that I chose to back. Still have enough for tomorrow at which I will got an otb, probably mary's place in tempe, to see how I fare there.

I am interested in Santa Anita and Secret Circle so I will try to get to a place where I can wage a small bet to see what happens next.

It won't pay anything but I am getting a grip on how to play the superfecta yet at ten cents a plunge. I went because of the ten cent pick 6 in Gulfstream. What a game that one is. I do not understand what is meant by one ticket or one win to win the entire jackpot. I can see that they are trying to get it to a million so it competes with a lottery game.

Today had some very high returns on exotic bets. I will be on my toes next time I hope. I always think I have it under control and I even think what to do but I don't always carry through. But I did something most unusual today and picked up some losing tickets to see how people bet. I was in shock to see how they do bet...ouch almighty. Costly business, this game of racing. Several bet $100 and that made me sit up and take notice. Wow! Imagine losing thousands of dollars at a time...I just can't imagine.

New Year about to arrive

2011-12-28T23:05:00.000-08:00

I cannot believe that it will be 2012, that 2011 is nearly gone...at this time of the month, I am always ready for the first to come round again since it gives me a little money and am always broke by the end of the month..dreadful cycle which I hate so am back again to working the lottery game planning to win this next Wednesday if I can make it happen.

I watched this crazy ABC show the other evening and could tell the immediate similarities between some of the plot, dialogue, and intent with respect to my Alexander novel. I have placed it to be read at a file at Alexander-Macedon at yahoo discussion groups so that anyone can read it but it had been written a long time ago so that it was also on a flash and in my computer files at various places. I heard distinct sounds that sounded like it and recognized the thin plot a bit.

So that same group was on again tonight with a Halloween episode and the pumpkins looked darn familiar. Aren't all pumpkins just alike? And I kid you not, I am getting the gist of this show anyway as I recognize the lady actress who is supposed to be from Cleveland, Ohio as I recall from a different show she starred in in past sitcoms.

So I realized again tonight something that Nightline had done years ago with a Chinese pow who mimicked me in a thing that I did in Century City, California near Harry's Bar. I am more than just gutsy to prove that I am under constant watch and study all the time so I did something that Ted Koppel did show a Chinese pow do also...whether this was contrived or what I cannot say but I saw it and realized what they were saying...that is all I will say for now. I don't tell on myself all the time.

But case is proved beyond any doubt to myself. shutting down now.

Day After Christmas

2011-12-26T19:57:00.000-08:00

Wouldn't you know, all day and night yesterday I was thinking about my pe nding novel which I have begun. I opened it up for viewing by placing it in the files at Alexander-Macedon discussion group. I have been thinking about it and rereading it over and over ever since. It is only a first draft, actually second revision, and while I love parts of it, I dislike other parts of it which I know have to be restructured and rewritten. Once I got it going though, I began to stick with one frame of mind til the finish line, and put it on a kind of recess until I decide to take it up once again.

I also had to change my gmail password again. How many times I have done that is nearly ridiculous. So often I get tired of it.

Visitors from other states are now lodging in Scottsdale and neighboring cities for the bowl games. I guess it is Oklahoma and Iowa who are here at this writing but I saw sweatshirts today from other states as well. I made a serious mistake of going to the mall to get an idea of how busy day after Christmas would be...too busy for my tastes but I did learn that pets are on sale at Puppies In Love.

I am also working on the lottery game again and have devised another new system which I feel will help me to at last win this game this January. I wish I would have thought of this sooner as it is very helpful to me right now.

The horses all came in as I had thought that they would. Favorites won today at opening day at Santa Anita. Opening Day is not the day to scare prospective patrons away so the races went off 1.2.3 just as they should have.

I did not play. Not in the mood for horse racing right now.

The local news is on so I will close the computer down. Found I can use it a Starbucks with wifi. Will do that this coming week as I have used half my allowance already.

The importance of caring

2011-12-15T22:54:00.000-08:00

This will be very short because my cat is pestering me to play with him and to get away from the computer. He wants attention now. So on that note, I will admit to playing around here with photos and attachments.

I had intended to explain that in order to get good government we must truly care and listen and demand that our own wishes and desires be met when these men and women decide to represent us in congress. I cannot in good conscience identify with very many of the current crop of pretenders to the highest office in the land.

I am not happy with the opposition party either but I am certainly dismayed at tyrannical, dictatorial, repressive policies such as these men and women are suggesting.

To care is to demand that we get the best leadership possible and so far, that is is as unlikely to happen as it is to see icebergs float at the equator.

Gay Life Style

2011-12-15T20:13:00.000-08:00

I know that I have talked about this subject a lot.

Tonight I received a post from a friend I met through Tudor Talk. This man is a supporter of gay rights and gay marriage, and often I think that he spends too much time on just that subject. But nonetheless, he has his cause which is to bring about laws of fairness to those who live their lives as open gays.

I have always supported gay rights since childhood due to having come to know so many gay men early in my adolescence and early 20's. Many men are bisexual, use both men and women, and I believe that it is better than men and women be open and honest about it rather than lying about it. I nearly married a man who was bisexual but backed out of it, and this many years later, am happy that I had the wisdom when young not to tie the knot with a man who had sex easily and regularly with members of both sexes.

I had not really known the sexual practices of men who were gay in that time as it took many years for me to learn what it is that they do with one another. A book called faggot did really explain it all and I read that book only in the past ten years, but at least the guy was honest and direct about the way that gay men feel about men in geneal and women as well.

I had had a gay hairdresser when I first moved to California who was always trying to make me look like a hooker. That was considered a compliment in that time, believe it or not. He actually is the only man I know who wore mascara on his eyelashes. He was a nice young man, hip, as they say, and treated me very nicely and well thank you. He was probably one of the few hair stylists who actually work with my hair and make it look decent.

So I have never understood why it is that the Republican men are so afraid of the gay lifestyles since there are many gays who vote and think Republican.

Hypocrisy is something that should not be practiced in the halls of government but so far Americans do themselves dirt all the time when they vote for the group of men and women who are elected to congress by betraying their own interests when voting for someone who clearly does not represent their own best interests.

To pretend that you are superior to someone simply because you do as most normal people do, marry, raise a family, live either happily or unhappily, as notice the divorce rate in America now, is absolutely the most asinine thing in the world to do. I will be blunt now. Anybody, intelligent, stupid, pretty, ugly, deformed, normal or whatever can reproduce through the normal means of taking ONE (a euphemism for copulation). Any person can get fucked. It is that simple. Like it or not, it is an easy thing to do. Nobody has to be a rocket science to do it. But gays choose to do it either in someone's mouth or asshole. Straights do it in a woman's vagina. It is all the same thing...as ejaculation or getting one's rocks off is the end result.

Government should stay out of the bedroom, out of the business of contracts between men and women who choose to marry, whether a member of the opposite sex or the same sex except to issue the license and make out the contract that says that these two persons intend to stick life out together for a long period of time, maybe to death do them part, or divorce do them part.
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As I literally shudder, shake, and tremble all over at the thought of such a lifelong contract to some man (since I am woman, hear me roar) I finally believe that I am a resurrected one, come back from the grave, and frankly do not need to make that kind of commitment. I prefer to be like the angels in Heaven who do not marry, no need to after all, since procreation is the real purpose of Marriage or to escape loneliness, and to find someone to do your dirty laundry for you if you are male.

I am not being that lighthearted about this. Marriage should be a serious commitment, an honorable state of being, but it should be due to love of one another, not forced into it by some social status or false religious belief.

I like Ron Paul for his not signing the pledge that these weak minded Republicans signed. They are too stupid for me to appreciate. God save America from such foolish people.

Blogging with new computer

2011-12-14T21:29:00.000-08:00

I am learning all the time what a difference a given make of a computer does make. Unfortunately, in this computer world everything is hit and miss and learn the hard way never knowing who it is that one can trust to help you when trying to buy a computer.

But one thing I know is that to do photography one needs a computer that has a way to have the pictures placed into the system. So far I have not yet discovered except for the camera where that can be done. So far I have a lot of photos of myself in a variety of positions.

And I am finding all the time that there are so many gremlins at work on it that it is giving me fits and starts. This is a netbook by Gateway which is really Acer now. I do not know yet every aspect of the features on this netbook but am learning slowly.

I will when I can do it which hopefully will be very soon get a new computer fully capable of doing everything that I will want to do for my simple tasks.

Teaching Children the truth of Christmas

2011-12-12T20:12:00.000-08:00

Today a facebook friend posted an interesting letter which came originally from the Huffington Post. It was a letter from a mother questioning whether she was raising her son properly in not teaching him some religious beliefs about God and church. The woman went on to explain that while both she and her husband had been reared in a Christian tradition that neither are exercising or practicing a faith and thus, her small son is going without any kind of religious upbringing. She was questioning whether she was doing him right or wrong in this attitude.

In the protestant faith, the traditions with in the church are usual and almost always the same, a few hymns are sung, a sermon is preached, a prayer is said, and a collection box is passed, and everyone is satisfied at the end that everyone has done their Christian duty and dutifully leave the church satisfied that another week has ended or begun well in satisfying the requirement of showing up to hear a mighty and awesome sermon.

The church plate is usually what is most important to many as money is always an issue in the survival of any church body, whether to support the preacher and his family, or to pay the building fund.

In the Catholic church, one is sinning if one does not attend all the necessary obligations that the church demands from its flock and again as in the protestant faith, the ongoing ritual of prayer, communion, and greeting one another in peace is supposed to satisfy the requirement that all true Christians gather together to pray in unison and agreement, acknowledging Jesus as their saviour.

Then one goes home, casts off all the pretenses, and settles back into the family ritual whatever it may be of arguing, fighting, putting one another down, or in the case of a happy and loving family, simply doing one's own thing whatever it may be, chores, play, homework, games, whatever.

There are always two different kinds of households in America: those who love each other and enjoy being together, living together, and praying together, and those who are actually hating each other, envious of one another's friends, time, pleasures, or whatever, and sibling rivalry of that kind often makes for great enmities so why bother with the pretense when one knows that one really wishes to bop the other one off.

So was this woman wise to ask about whether she should try to instill a religious notion in her son or whether to just let him be, not bothering to take him to church where he would be taught the usual Sunday School stories about Jesus loving little children, and wanting them all to come to him, or to let him grow up to decide for himself that mommy and daddy had let him down by not taking him to church to learn those early lessons.

In the number of inmates incarcerated in jails today, how many had gone to church in their youth? Why did it not penetrate their minds not to break the laws of society? In the hospitals and nursing homes today, how many are also a product of a religious upbringing? Does a religious upbringing matter to a child? Does a child need to attend a Sunday School to learn the lessons taught there? Does that lesson affect that child's lifestyle for the remaining days of his life?

If there is a God, she says, and you are out there, I am passing on this...

Does she pass? God is supposed to see into our hearts...can one even understand what is in one's own heart?

Rereading my novel on Alexander

2011-12-11T14:26:00.000-08:00

Writing a novel is a huge job. I took it upon myself to write about Alexander of Macedon's childhood and have sent a rudimentary copy of the finally supposedly finished version to three people in whom I have placed a bit of trust to read it. I know only of one who is actually reading it as I have received confirmation from her that she is reading it in her free time.

I am rereading it to see how it sounds to me as I reread it aloud and I am finding areas which need a lot of rewrites. I have to let it go cold so that I can get a better perspective on it when rereading it than when I was immersed into it when writing it. It takes a lot of preparation to simply go back into the time period to renew the feel and memories that I occasionally experience to write this out. I do undergo certain spontaneous memories at times and a few I include in the storytelling aspect. Most I keep to myself.

I did experience a flashback to the city of Corinth while writing this experience and I have never seen anything so lovely as the setting that I found myself in when back in that time period. I have this desire now to see Corinth today as I had had no idea what a beautiful spot this region in Greece is until I found myself back there staring down at the sea and looking at what were then temples. It was an amazing experience.

Naturally, I looked up Corinth in google images and will do so again after I post this now.

I Adore Alexander,my cat

2011-12-11T14:18:00.000-08:00

I am trying to get a photo of my cat on my blog. this was taken when I first received my computer so this is the only photo I have of him to date that I can use here. The others are all on my cell phone...complications until I learn how to bring all this together.

Hawthorne's Jim Edgar Futurity Race

2011-12-10T18:03:00.000-08:00

I mentioned the fact that many races are fixed so that a horse can win or cannot win. In a book about Man O War many old times methods of trying to fix a race are discussed and frankly are quite shocking. There is little doubt that many winning horses were in danger of losing their lives back in the 30's and 40's since there were unscrupulous characters who would try anything to prevent them from winning. Phar Lap appears to be a horse that fell victim to someone's efforts to keep him from becoming an American phenomena as he had been in Australia where even there many objected to his long winning streak.

So today there are two examples of horses that one must question whether it was fixed for them to win or to lose when one learns the results. One owner had three horses entered, and the least likely won while the heavily favored did not win. In this case, the owner did not get hurt at all, only the simple minded trusting bettor who truly believed that a "best" horse could win again against a minor leaguer...sorry but it turned out not to be true.

Everyone will come away from that race believing what they want about it, that money talked and won! It looks that way when one can only shake one's head in wonder.

That's all on this subject for now.

The favorite, a horse by the name of Twelve Hundred did not win but was trained and owned by the same owner as the horse that did win...so neither trainer or owner lost a thing...just the dumb stiff who bet on Twelve Hundred instead of Real Power.

Christmas Blues

2011-12-09T20:55:00.000-08:00

There is a song called Blue Christmas. I believe Elvis sang it along with many others. It will be a blue Christmas without you.

Each year the celebration of Christmas becomes harder and harder to enjoy. As one ages, one realizes how life changes affect one's emotional and mental processes. Fundamentally, Christmas is supposed to be a recognition of the annual event which celebrates the birth of a young god, a child born to become the saviour of the Jewish community, and who expanded it to become the saviour of the gentiles and infidels as well so long as they would recognize his status as the person upon whom one could trust to lead one into a kingdom of love and fulfilment in the state of soul. The physical body is revealed to expose the status of the soul through its health records, meaning that the souls who need to be cured appear to have soul problems...Jesus was able to see into them, help to cure them through the forgiveness of the sin that prevented them from having good health.

Most Christians today do not fully recognize this as the stories of Jesus are dependent upon the interpretation that some priest, preacher, or divine soul can give to them. Most appear to be misinterpreted thus creating all kinds of problems for the many faithful who continue to believe in the truth of the good news of the great lord and master Jesus Christ.

The Holy Ghost is who is supposed to follow Jesus so that the true faithful will always continue to understand the mysteries of the faith.

So now we celebrate the birth of Christ with songs, prayers, and attendance in mass at a public acknowledgement and recognition of that faith. No matter that many do not attend church services regularly but that they do at Christmas. That is good. The fact that they want to celebrate the birth is good news as God sees the true intent and that is what counts.

Sending Christmas cards keeps friendships intact, families apprised of news within the family, and the post office at work. The internet now for many can do the same without all the added expense of postage stamps, and expensive Hallmark or American Greeting cards.

Happy Holidays, or Merry Christmas! It is all the same. Holy Day. Christ's Mass. It is an occasion of happiness, joy, and remembrance to honor the Christ child whose light has led the world into an understanding of healing and peace amongst men of God's will.

Merry Christmas to all!

Songs about Christmas

2011-12-09T17:55:00.000-08:00

I just listened to two new standard Christmas songs which are not regularly played or known and wondered at why it is that artists and storytellers continue to feel the need to write a song, a poem, or a story about the time in which Jesus was brought into the world.

Years ago when I was writing for a correspondent course in Children's Literature the Detroit Newspapers had a contest for stories about Christmas. I wrote two stories but did not submit either. I did at one time share the birth of Christ story with a member of a discussion group. Then I wrote another about a child who had suffered the death of his mother and who was trying to adjust to a difficult time due to that untimely death.

Many people suffer more violently at holiday times than any other time since so much stress is placed on family, gift giving, and the need to be a part of a commercial affair rather than a spiritual remembrance.

Should Christmas mean a lot of Christmas presents under a tree? Who can get the most or the biggest or the best? That is how Christmas is basically taught but there is also a time spent going to a church where the preacher teaches about the star that led the Wise Men and the Shepherds to find the small babe who lay in a manger in the back of a busy hotel or inn that had not had a reservation made for this child who came into the world expectantly believe it or not. His birth was a known fact long before it happened.

So Jesus had to sleep on a straw bed and his mother, a young child herself, had to suffer the discomfort of a birth delivery in the rear of an inn while her husband attended to her. Miraculously the child was born and it followed that Mary and Joseph were not alone for long because soon they were visited by the wiseemen and the shepherds who came to see this strange spectacle of a child whose radiance was such that not only was there a star overhead but also a great light that shone round about him.

Playing the horses

2011-12-08T20:02:00.000-08:00

I will share a few of my secrets here about horses and racing at the local tracks. One is that many people believe that races are fixed. It would be very difficult to prove that they are, as nobody will ever admit to it, but the word always gets out that some how or other a race is fixed. I think that owners would object to that idea since they are the ones bearing the costs and expenses most in this game, but one never knows if it is possible for jockeys and or trainers to really fix a race so that a horse will or won't win. It works that horses can be drugged to slow down as well as speed up in the world of those who believe that medicines are used for those purposes.

My secret in winning a race is to study the horses's behaviour. If a horse looks as though he is concentrating on the race by putting his head down even with his body, so that he looks straight, it usually means that he is somehow or other concentrating his energy on that race. If his tail swishes, it often means that he is a happy horse, that he is eager to race, and if he is sometimes acting up, trying to stand up, and appears to be moving about a lot, it indicates that he is full of run and energy so that he may be a contender. The horses that generally look straight ahead with head pointed forward come in first or second I have noticed. The horses themselves know what is up. I watched when horses seemed to concentrate on me, and then would win. I had no idea what it was that caused that but if I went to the stalls to watch them get dressed for the race, I would notice their way of looking at me. It made me take notice of them. I began then to study their body language and behaviour.

In truth and honesty, those are the best ways to win a race. You must see the horse for yourself and watch his behaviour and then you can find the horse who will be in the money.

I thought of writing a blog about winning horse races, and so I studied the patterns of jockeys and trainers for certain tracks. Some tracks use the same jockeys repeatedly which is the best way for the bettor to follow the pattern of a jockey. Knowing the streaks of wins and losses by a given jockey does help to make bets, especially exotic bets.

I will post this to facebook as I know there are people there who are interested in this topic. I have kept silent long enough and horses need care and attention.

Back Online

2011-12-08T15:54:00.000-08:00

for the past few weeks I have been using my cellphone to check email and to do most computer projects, and as a result, have nearly forgotten what it is like to write on a regular netbook computer. I just did get my security updated so that I have spent some time online and will continue to do so now for awhile. It is amazing at how much we need a computer after we have started to use it and how little we need it for it is a bad habit as had been television.

In truth, it is sad to know that ordinary conversation is being replaced by noses peering into cellphones, ipads, and other mechanical devices. I am surprised that people know how to talk with one another any longer since so many appear to be always on their phones or computers.

But because I just had security put on to this netbook I will be using it more often than in the past few weeks. I nearly drained my cellphone battery by using it as a replacement I think. I did talk to them today about it.

I also talked to the vets about my plan which will expire in March so I must take my cat in to be neutered soon. I have dreaded that operation so much as I would have loved to have had a litter of kittens. So I may be still looking for that female cat to have a litter with Alexander as papa.

The holiday season is dreary for me right now. I am staying away from shopping centers as much as is possible. I sold some gold last month due to banking problems caused by my vet's screwing me up. I am thinking of selling a few rings now. Just thinking it through before I act upon it. The rings are so old and too small for me to wear now. If I get a decent price, I might sell them.

Christmas Time again

2011-12-03T22:59:00.000-08:00

It is looking like it will be a white Christmas in many places as the weather has taken a nasty turn, dumping rain into the Valley and snow in the higher elevations as we in the West call it...

I like low elevations to be honest,and I had enough snow in my younger days in the Midwest and more recently in Colorado that thank you but no thank you I do not need snow and ice in my life even at Christmas time.

Today, I had to go to the local pawn shop where I had taken two old rings to get a loan of $25 to pay for a bank overdraft...they made $9 bucks for loaning me $25 when I needed it and recounting this week is a page out of well, never mind...this is how it went. My mpower beeper went off letting me know that I had only 3 days left on credit, so I have exactly $10 on me in cash and $11 in a winning voucher ticket from horse racing. I went to Basha's to put credit on my debit card, and left my keys on the cookie table. While on the bus, I went through my pocketbook dutifully checking that everything was there and could not find my keys...I said, oh no, to the driver, I have to get off the bus, I don't have my keys and frantically raced back to Walgreens to see if they were there, stopped at Chase to see if they were there ( in Basha's) and then down to the SRP kiosk to see if they were there and luckily for me, found them on the cookie counter as nobody had apparently gone near it.

At my age, I double and triple check everything for I am forget about all these little minor things, and chronic about not losing my keys. I was so devastated at that that I could not function well for hours.

Naturally, I had to tell my story, compulsive talker that I am, and everyone said how lucky I was...I was indeed...but on Friday I had to go back and again, I am just wondering what the heck is it with Bashas and that SRP kiosk now, as I made sure not to go in the same door, to do everything carefully, and just like that the case in which I carry allmy cards fell out of my hand onto the floor, and sprayed out all my cards on the floor. Was I ever mad at that! I picked up all the cards, doublechecked to make sure none were under the game machine that is next to kiosk and even got a man to bend down and look for me to make sure that I have everything...driving me crazy too, but that is old age and clumsiness and dropsy for you.

So today, after leaving the pawn shop where the men who were there were so nice to me, gentlemanly, and told me that I could come anytime I needed as they have me on record now, I walk out the door, and as two people are walking towards me, the ring falls out of my hand, and I am down on the ground, trying to retrieve it from under a rear end of a car...they asked me if I was all right...I could not believe this, mind you! Two days in a row.

That did it. I decided no to horses and went to Arizona Mills shopping where I found two sweatshirts at Penny's on sale and bought them, stopped at Panda Express, got some orange chicken and shrimp and then proceeded home, to find my phone's battery is dying on me as it needs recharging. It has not been used at all so why is it draining all of a sudden twice in one day!

I will leave it on the charger all night as when I woke up this morning the juice had drained out of it. It takes forever to recharge so that means a trip to the service shop on Monday and probably a new phone.

Agh! This will be one heck of a month. Did find a tower for my cat at Big Lots and want it...gotta find a way to get it home and to get the money for it...

Yeah, this saga never ends...relentlessly.

Computer Problems

2011-11-30T13:03:00.000-08:00

I have not been writing anything for sometime due to security on my computer. I had to purchase a netbook due to this computer having been hacked into so often and so wary of viruses and problems. I am frankly tired of windows computers having so many security problems. As a result, I am going to try to become proficient enough at horses to be able to buy a new computer which will be assured to be safe for me to use. Someone actually ordered me a security program which a week earlier I had already told same company I would not renew since it had not protected my system properly. The bank called me to notify me of the order and asked if I had authorized it. I had not and had to go through all kinds of problems to get that situation straightened out. As it was both bank and company were good about it and helped me to get through it but it cost me dearly and taught me a lesson, one of which is get a new computer but make certain that it is not a windows system.

So I will be purchasing a macintosh before too very long.

And it will be secure.

Lesson learned.

I have been using cellphone computer which is only a photograph of the stuff that is on original computer so a salesman told me when I asked.

I am contemplating writing new blogs...am investigating that as much as possible. Blogging is really helpful if you know how to do it right. I am already considering ideas for a blog to earn money.

all for now.

Toying with new blog ideas

2011-11-19T23:20:00.000-08:00

I read a very interesting blog on making money with a blog and how to do it and again it uses google ads as the means for making a sizeable income after apparently a year's time in which one has developed ones blog. I doubt that it is as easy as this man purports it to be for him, but I am sure that it has possibilities. One must set up the money management section of google to undergo this experience of placing ads on your blogsite so that you will reap rewards and income from it.

I have worked on the lottery games for years and I will probably return to playing the lottery asap, since my horse racing stints are pretty meagre. I did rather badly this afternoon deciding to play only Delta Downs millionaire game. I did a rather good job picking them, but I always have a problem when finally placing the bet, reverting back to old habits which are hard to break...always sucked in by the favorite who by rights should win the race.

The most fantastic thing happened in Churchill Downs that absolutely blew my mind. A while back I had written a formula for playing the superfecta which is a cool formula and today it worked at churchill Downs...Previously it had also worked in an Australian race I saw streamed in to our local t.v.s

My problem is that I prefer to bet where nobody can get an idea of how much I am playing or what horses I am choosing.

I am extremely superstitious about the quality of my voice and a horse if I am talking to someone. I am also superstitious about people who yell out the names or numbers of horses in my presence. I had noticed that problem in Florida when I was there, and sure enough Cannonade won that year at the Derby and some guy was screaming out the horse's name and number...It still goes on and today once again, the same thing happened and the horse again did the same thing...it is a very weird thing so that on the next two races of that year at Preakness and Belmont I would not go near the sports bar so as not to be in the hearing of those yelling so we got Little Current.

My voice also weakens very much when a horse I discuss is a loser...it happened again today as it had done at Churchill with Snow Chief. I knew then that Snow Chief could not win just as today I knew that Doug's Buddy could not win besides the fact that he shook his head so I could see that he was saying no.

I had picked Sabrecat as a possibility believe it or not myself but when it came time to play I stayed with the favorite using longshots only in the trifecta which I did try to play.

But the 8 horse had been picked in a facebook note and sure enough, the guy who was talking to me won with it and was kind enough to have placed a bet for me which I accepted so I won because of him. He was a really nice guy to do that and as that has happened so seldom in my life I was in shock about it...I really like him for that.

On that note, sounding off and leaving the premises....gotta be careful til December.

Sounding Off

2011-11-18T15:42:00.000-08:00

In a few minutes I am going to attend a party being given for the former manager, Nancy, who has been retired from her job. She is 63 and the new bosses, the son and daughter of the owner, have taken over, and are giving her a good bye party. I finally saw Nancy earlier this week in the clubhouse when we were both using the wifi for our computer needs. So I decided to say good bye to her as manager at this party tonight and to meet the other apartment guests who may show up to get some free grub.

I cooked potato pancakes today...Sandra Kuolt had given me three bags of potatos a while back so I had to finally boil all of them and so today shredded eight to make potato pancakes, Southern Living recipe.

Since I am on for only a short time without Norton's security this will be written quickly to avoid problems.

I am on a very tight budget, limited income, since the government insists upon being stupd in its processing social security programs and I have yet to return to attempt to get needed benefts...hoping always to find a way not to need them.

Verizon did help me through this month by sending rebate in a timely fashion...notice that it is a part of the xfactor system and that I noted also last night...as I am very pleased with Verizon right now.

I needed the $50 bucks.

I wrote a piece about my health for those who demonstrate that they care about me at a facebook note section. It was late at night so probably few saw it. I got to sleep finally about 3 o'clock this morning and slept til ten when I got a phone call from who knows who and no identifying clue except number as to who called. Hope not someone for Capital One as I would gladly sue the daylights out of them.

I am angry about a lot of wrongdoing in this nation. I usually take action. People who would know the truth about my situation would understand why. I am tired of the politics, the unfairness towards the needy, and the rich getting by with outrageous conduct and behaviour because they are either in government or have high paid attornies who know how to manipulate the laws to suit themselves. Juries are often a joke especially with celebrities, always letting celebrities get by with murder.

Funny thing about the Natalie Wood case right now...exposing the fact that many people find Robert Wagner guilty, and a few who actually remember when and how all this happened off Catalina Island back in 1981 on November 29.

I remember well where I was as I had just painted my own self portrait in Davison Michigan. Never have forgotten that untimely drowning as it reminded me of my students at Center Intermediate once again and a kid by the name of Tom A. Also made me think of a girl named Debbie L. So life is strange when Hollywood imitates real life so often in many ways.

I had a schoolgirl crush on Robert Wagner as his birthday is the day before mine and I fell in love with him in my adolescence. I actually saw him once at Santa Anita. I feel that the drowning was a bit like a movie that Natalie starred in called This Property Is Condemned with Robert Redford. Redford is one hunk of a guy and Natalie was one gorgeous girl whose best work was in West Side Story imho.

I liked her a lot.

Robert Wagner went on to marry Jill St. John, a hot honey of a red head whose fame was well known in my younger years. I am still in love with RJ.

He always reminded me of my first boyfriend in first grade, Jay Bergman, who I dearly love to this day too. I had loved Bobby Driscoll then also. He was wonderful in So Dear to my Heart, a Disney movie. I have always loved Walt Disney Studios also. They are basically good people and very kind to me personally. I remember when I went to a dance there and Les Brown was playing...when I walked in, he struck up the band to play Hello Dolly. I know I belong at Disneyland and Disneyworld...I am a real Mickey Mouse person.

That's all for now...sounding off.

New blog

2011-11-15T23:19:00.000-08:00

I will continue using this blog but am about to embark upon creating a new blog...not exactly sure where or how...this has all been a trial and error situation. Many problems in learning how to write blogs, how to insert photos and videos, and how to make them focused on a single subject or topic. I do not like to be too narrow but a friend who writes her novels on blogs has convinced me that it may be possible to write short novels or stories which I may attempt.

The real reason that I am often careless and indifferent to using great care in writing a blog is that I am too aware of how easy it is to go to a page and lift it. I am rather particular about being able to capitalize on my own works rather than having some other person take it from me and run with it getting credit as if it had been theirs.

So for that reason, I often allow grammatical erros, spelling erros, and typos to stay on a page rather than removing them, thinking that if a person is going to just take my page and pass it off as his that it will bear those errors...he can be punished for those as well. The method in my madness as the saying goes is to protect myself at all costs.

I realized a long time ago that nobody is going to be able to afford a court case on plagiarism, and frankly, many of us will never know if our stuff is lifted or not. I can't beat the bushes trying to find out who is imitating and copying me so much.

The simple truth is that people should realize that I talk back and forth to people in the television media quite frequently and they quite frenquently respond and talk back to me as well.

Will close now...am concerned about the verizon signal tonight as well as Norton.

Writing novels on a blog

2011-11-12T21:38:00.000-08:00

Do people actually follow blogs that are written as novels? That would be interesting to try, wouldn't it? Thinking about it...but how do you protect your own work? I just don't trust it.

Blogging

2011-11-12T09:06:00.000-08:00

Thanks to Mme. Guillotine I have learned that writing a novel on a blogspot is a way to attract agents. On that note, I am considering trying that as a way of testing the waters. I am usually as protective of my ideas as a major auto company is of their supersecret models.

Now the problem is knowing which blogger group to use as this one has often advertised that your blog could be published and sold..That means creating another account, and probably doing as google does by selling ads. I did learn through create space though that one has to get all the business side accomplished before one even begins...first thing first when it comes to marketing.

Verans Day and 11/11/11

2011-11-11T17:07:00.000-08:00

So far this day has not been any different from any other, and I often think that today's media are making too much of the Mayan Calendar and other natural events...it is a bit gray here in the Valley, but warm, and I did finally get out of the apartment to go to the grocer's and drugstore, stopped at the hardware store to see that they are conducting a food drive, and even toured the last ten minutes of the Thrift Store which was about to close its doors.

I did not know how much shelves cost or I would have my shelf brought from the other apartment to this one but I foolishly said, oh leave it...now I find that they cost a fortune to buy at a hardware store but bet I can find some thrown out in the alley's somewhere.

I wrote a chapter on Alexander earlier this past summer about sexual abuse to children and so the Joe Paterno story prompted me to react to that on a discussion group. I fortunately was able to delete my outburst.

Jerry Sandusky deserves to serve time in jail for his misconduct. I am as opposed as anyone to the problem of child abuse, whether it is boys or girls.

Because the gay world has latched onto Alexander as some kind of gay icon, I am taking the exact opposite approach in my book since I believe from stories that I have read and of course, my own intimate knowledge, that he was opposed to gay behaviour. He was a very masculine oriented man who disliked anything slightly effeminate displayed in a man. In fact, my premise is that his father admonished him when he was criticizing the Sacred Band for their lifestyles. I wish I had kept notes on all the books I read and all the authors but one author in particular pointed out that he had critized them to have Philip turn and admonish him for it. In fact, Philip more or less brought about his own demise by putting a curse on those who found anything wrong with the Sacred Band which was intended for Alexander. Philip is a strange man, full of both love and hate for his own son.

I do not believe that Alexander ever engaged in homosexual practices as he has made it known loud and clear that his interest is in his own divinity, not depravities which they were considered in that time as well as this time.

So I wrote a chapter where the young boys discuss an incident of child abuse and physical abuse amongst themselves...when I read the Grand Jury report,I thought uhoh, it sounds a lot like my chapter...bothered me a lot that way...proving what? that universal truths then are the same now...

My book has a lot of rewriting to do, and I am not doing a NaNoWriMo stint this time round. I am still too absorbed in my own novel, but thanks to my computer problems have put it on hold til I get a computer that won't be infiltrated. I have Norton right now but it is about to expire and I intend to try to keep it as it has protected me so far.

Breeders Cup

2011-11-07T22:54:00.000-08:00

Strange things happen that are for real. I am a very keen observer of minutiae that means nothing to anyone but myself. However, I learned years ago that for some reason or other at Christmas time when I lived in Michigan my ss numbers would come up in the lottery so that I could win on them. I notice these kinds of things as birthday combinations also work in lotteries. Sadly, I have missed most of them, being a little short on the up and at em department in betting on such things. My mother would always get so mad at me for not betting on horses that I felt or knew would come in. I did at least bet on two this year to also win on them but that was a rough one for me to do at that time too.

But at the time I was watching Michigan State playing Minnesota at the Upper Deck, a bar that I decided to watch the Breeders Cup races from due to its proximity to my home, in other words, closest one to me, I had a rough time of it in one way...so noisy and the atmosphere not really one that lends itself to making sound bets. But I watch the horses intensely to see which horse is actually wanting to win the race and how he shows it to me, but depending upon directors and cameraman is a bit iffy at times although a few horses did communicate well.

One was Amazombie. I could tell that horse was going to win and so I put a small wager on it, having talked myself out of playing anything substantial as the previous day had been very rough at the exotics games that I played.

I had started out with a small amount and so made certain that I did not do anything stupid so I was prudent to a fault. I had become aware of Force Freeze through some analyst or handicapper's comments but I singled the Amazombie horse(7) and Force F(6)came in with him...Michigan State was playing a football game then, and came out in front of Minnesota at about the same time that Amazombie came in...My MSU student number has 76 as the last two numbers which I use yet today, and so there I was, watching 7 and 6 come intogether, and ironically 5 also came in third....

It finally dawned on me as I had been pulling for Game On Dude all along and due to a man asking me a question I learned that Ruler On Ice would be in the money...I have a special gift that few know about but which I have learned to listen to especially at racetracks, as Strike the Gold came to me the same way for the Kentucky Derby and a horse at Hollywood Park one year ridden by Cash Asmussen...other people know about this and trust me enough to bet on it when I let them know about it...Joyce,a photographer, anyway, again, the little voice came out to let me know about Ruler On Ice so I knew that 4 would be in the money...Now do I pay attention to all these things and make hay on them? Sometimes, not always...as I do get emotional and tend to make mistakes too like not paying attention to myself when I should...so another guy asked me for longshots and I gave him Game On Dude and Ruler On Ice as I knew that ROI would be in the money but I did not know where...

I should have won that high 5 but I missed out on Drosselmeyer despite its being mentioned at a video in which handicappers did admit to who they thought would be the longshot to win...Drosselmeyer was mentioned so I should have heeded that and my own inclinations...I did ask how much the high 5 would cost...a dollar a bet...so I was tempted but did not have it figur3ed.

3/8 could have made me rich had I bet the exacta...but I didn't but 38 is a personal number of mine that I should have realized if I had been thinking...dang it...half of 76...where was I? well, I did win on Amazombie and because I had seen Hansen in his two earlier races, I knew how good he is, and so took a chance on him but bet win only.

Naturally, I am muttering to myself about all of this...what a day!

Breeders Cup

2011-11-05T22:30:00.000-07:00

My big failing in life is that I am honest to a fault. Whether people like it or not, I tell the truth about most things...naturally there are times when I can lie, but if and when I do lie, it is with a purpose as I have always said that my breath is too valuable to waste it on a lie.

So it is with the Breeder's Cup which I gave a lot of time to develop so that I could run right in and make a great play and win tons of money...I failed to do that miserably...everything that could go wrong has gone wrong but I need the money so much that I sat myself down and worked out a plan to win a superfecta race and while it has weaknesses it has strengths as well...but I did not attempt it yet.

I had to go with my usual win, place, and show bet or win only. I could not win with any exotics when I tried them...had a rough time this week on those but I can always win on singles so I stick to the singles.

I have won a superfecta and a trifecta and exactas in the past but for some reason I could not get them together right the past two days.

I had a great time though as the races themselves were fantastic and surprising...I knew that they would be but some really got past me. I tried not to get emotional but I could not help it, as I am a sucker for all kinds of sob stories and I did get emotionally involved with a couple of horses.

I have mixed feelings about the Classic as Game On Dude was so close when he got caught at the wire...it did break my heart to see that.

Oh well, I will put this on now and probably sooner or later, put a video on. But right now, I can't take it and don't want to see if youtube has it yet.

Waiting for Breeders Cup

2011-10-24T23:33:00.001-07:00

I am putting all my eggs in one basket this coming November at the Breeders Cup so I have been reading everything that is being discussed by all those who will be playing the game, pitting their expertise, hunches, tips, hopes, and money on a variety of horses. Will they choose bloodlines, trainers, jockeys, or past performance as the reason for their decision? I wonder. I will be choosing odds and risk chances...

I am going to try to free myself from emotional betting. It is easy to get attached to horses which is the most serious mistake one can make when betting and wanting to win.

My cat is meowing for me to close now...I see someone is one skype but so far I have used it only twice.

Doing a lot of shorthand now...going to close...am not sure about Nanowrimo this year...not that crazy now.

Horrible October

2011-10-17T22:37:00.000-07:00

This month has been the most exasperating that I have had in a while and I hope never to have another like it. Everything that could go wrong has gone wrong but I am struggling to get through it, hoping that November with the Breeder's Cup will finally get me into the financial strata that I wish to be. A lot depending upon how I do at the races in early november and it is guaranteed to be an exciting two days of championship horseracing.

I was reminded of my years of adventure tripping back in time again recently when in the middle of the night I had a vision of the SunKing in a profile type setting emphasizing his nose but also his youth as it was very black and white in appearance to me. Then came the remembrance of the death and execution of Marie Antoinette with whom I had been compared when teaching in Southern California. I realized all of California had been a part of this huge joke about the "slow guillotine" which referred to smog then but also to Louis King, a professor at one of the local universities who taught some of us a bit of sociology then...as I look back now and see how all this was played out, I realize a lot of setups contributed to what became known as Watergate, involving President Nixon then.

If I had known then what I know now, I wonder what would have happened...but suffice it to say I did not know much of anything then in comparison to what I have learned in the past decade or so here in Arizona.

I am putting on hold my novel on Alexander due to computer problems. I like the netbook but my material is on a computer that has been compromised so many times I do not trust it to use it any longer, and my concept of the book has truly changed since I began it.

I once upon a time began a book on Louis XIV also in which again I was a bit paranoid about the idea that someone could rip me off by reading and copying all my thoughts and once I began it I cut it off so that I would not be having my thoughts stolen away from me.

I watched the video Versailles, Dream of a King, which one of the women at the Louis XIV discussion group had mentioned and was very impressed with muc of it. I again remembered things which I had seen in my trance situations and have left remain dormant. I could try to write a book on the King also but it will take a long time and a new computer to do it. I don't trust many in computerville much.

I continue to discuss with myself all these experiences which I underwent, and try to determine why it is that one can be blessed with that kind of recollection in a given time such as this one. It has taught me to value this time period for what it is pertaining to myself, but I admit that I learned much from those time periods to compare the changes in environment between then and now. None had electrical or technological systems such as we know now...All had to invent and make up their own form of entertainment.

We are a very much more passive lot of people today than people of previous ages who had to act to get anything done. All this technology may be for the good but it has its drawbacks as well. But once we have it, we become so dependent upon it we fail to see the truth of what it does to us and for us.

I have x dollars to get to November 2d on and that concerns me a lot...Not enough money at all. I stretch it out as much as possible but it is rough doing.

Imagine having had a financial minister take care of all your financial needs...Louis had Colbert to do his work for him even though I remember a story I read about how Louis showed off the Versailles to a banker who was visiting so that he could get some money from him...

Well, I am probably going to regret putting my pittance on here so will erase it now. Just continuing to use this as diary more than exhibitions as frankly, I don't expect too much from this blog now. I rarely read any previous posts and anything that I have said is only repeated now and then to refresh my memory. I did learn that common thread that has enabled me to learn of these past and former lifetimes...I cannot explain it...it is too strange and too unusual for anyone to make sense of but suffice it to say that the being that exists to have been all these men has been revealed to me so that I understand it. It is that wee voice from within that one is supposed to listen to and thus learn from...

I think it is that thing we call soul after all...and frankly, it has to have intelligence to make itself known to those with intelligence...if I am able to explain this properly.

But I shall try to get this concept articulated to be comprehended...there are many tracks within the human mind...the one that is in operation now is one that has been educated to use a typewriter, has learned a language skill, and is that which is known and has an identity as a person who is the Me that is doing all the work of writing this out...within this same person is another intelligent force that is capable of communication through the same language but is a separate mental process than the "me" but which communicates to me its being so that I recognize that it is a separate part of "me" which apparently is that which belongs to each one of the various other entities...I thought of it as a the vine, and all the identities of each other lifetime as the cluster of grapes hanging from the vine.

So long as I had that to ride upon I could then enter into the lives of the other persons who I had "been" when I gravitated into them and learned the pieces of their lives...that is the connection which when I decide to write on any of them, I can find and use to learn once more some of the pieces of the lives of the past.

It is a thread that is within me that lets me go back into time and even in the present is there for me to tape into when I choose to learn something if I decide to do it...

I know that this is not a very well stated definite explanation but it will have to do for now as I have to close and get back to my apartment. Closing for now.

Finally settling into how to write my novel

2011-10-03T23:52:00.000-07:00

I have been having so many problems lately...my nerves frankly are not strong enough for me to weather all these problems without becoming very frankly difficult to be around...I had bank problems, computer problems, and all these expenses irritate and annoy me no end, but in the process of having to go to the bank today to see an end to some of these woes I realized how to work my plan for my novel.

I had another one of those nights where I have to counsel myself, feed myself wisdom from within, and get a teriffic hold on myself to decide whether to write or not to write about this time spent in the past.

I have been enjoying visions again, had one last night with Louis XIV showing up in a way that was quite fascinating and had to think on that for a moment. I had just been saying how happy I am to live in this time period instead of the one that Alexander had lived...I had felt his shin pain when I first moved into the apartment and had had to read Plutarch to understand what the heck was going on. I will say this much about regression...it is not fun to relive a pain from the past...but I surely had it for a while and had to join LAFitness to use hot tub to cure.

But seeing Louis XIV pop up and know what kind of lifestyle he led, I was reminded that probably some lifetimes are very enjoyable as his had been. When I have broadband trouble I wonder if some force is annoyed at my writing this stuff...my broadband has disconnected twice.

More on Alexander Novel

2011-09-27T23:06:00.000-07:00

The Nanowrimo event will be coming up again. I doubt that I will enter but if I do it would be to continue the story begun last November which must be reworked and rewritten in many places. Essentially, it is a great story and is interesting to me.

I no longer argue with myself about whether I am a case of reincarnation or not, and whether someone as so called mad as Alexander became had really been me. My book will prove whether he did become mad or not as at this point in time I do not believe that he did. But he did become worn and tired, and lost his health in the course of his journey.

What happens is that I go into a form of automatic writing which does somehow or other tap into things that I had not known or considered about him, and for that reason it has been fascinating to let all this come out.

Some of it is suitable for publication but some of it will be censored by myself, as I do not care to share some things that surface from my subconscious to occur in this story. I will see as I go ahead with this book what else I can learn.

I have learned many things just through visualization as for me, images come to me, and sometimes I actually return and relive experiences, and sometimes I only watch and observe Alexander in a situation which does resonate with me.

I have firmly decided that nobody anywhere should be able to know what is another person's mind, heart, and soul but that person himself. I would not want anyone to know when I am having a tantrum, a sense of despair, a sense of joy, or any other aspect of myself from within myself, but only as they are able to see me display it through my facial expression, or body language, or actual discussion of it.

In other words, I am protective of the experiences that I had in these different personalities and do not wish always to share them with the world at large at all.

That means that while I may write this book out as a kind of therapy for myself, I may have reservations about publishing it. I do want part of it published so the editing job will be something to do to make it suitable for public consumption. I am sticking with it nonetheless while I ponder the wisdom of share and tell.

Movies

2011-09-27T22:47:00.000-07:00

I spent another weekend catching up on movies that I had not seen when shown at the local cinema. Men Who Stare at Goats, Precious, and Bright Star. I took out two others but have not been able to get into them, Conviction, and The Children of Huang Shi.

I am beginning to have difficulties with this computer and I do not need anyone editing my blogs without my express consent and permission. Telling the plot of a movie on a blog is hardly reason to erase any of it. George Clooney is amusing as a psychic with abnormal powers, and his ability to kill through mental thought is the reason for the title. He kills a goat by simply staring at it. One would think that it preposterous but in fact the military and government is experimenting with such things. I read a book through the Phoenix library system that discussed this totally. So I suspect the movie came from that book.

Voodoo rituals believe in this kind of ability and fear it so maybe the government is taking lessons from Haiti witchcraft. Who knows?

Bright Star is about the love John Keats had for his neighbor Fanny Brawne, and it is a beautiful love story, full of heartache and understanding about the pressure put to bear on John to write. I had no idea that there had been that kind of pressure upon poets in England until I saw this. All I did was study the darn poems, danged if I had to get into the poets heart and soul and head and needs. Keats is most famous for the poem Endymion. I remember that even fifty years after I studied it.

Stupid me, huh? I was not the best when I was a college student...my motivation was gone after a dissolved love affair...I was worse than Keats that way.

Precious is a preposterous story which is both horrid to sit through but fun in its fantasizing and James Thurber means of dreaming that one is something that one is not. The director and editors did a great job on that one. The plot of a fat girl abused by both her mother and father but able to get help and actually climb out of her misery was a bit of a stretch for me. It is difficult enough for average students to make it in this life, but for a girl with real educational difficulties to advance so quickly sounded very too Hollywood. The actress is great, deserved her award as she won a Golden Globe for her role, and she showed why some women would prefer to be lesbians than to have to endure the abuse that she took.

Lesbianism creeps into the story so that is why i say that. For her to have been shoved from the back to land on her face was plainly cruel and unnecessary but apparently black people fear each other more than white people know.

I enjoyed the film since it does give her a happy ending despite being sexually raped, impregnated, mother of 2 and only 16...really totally unbelievable that she can survive at that age with her difficulties.

But so it goes...won't put trailers of films on here. They are all at youtube.

How People Connect

2011-09-22T00:12:00.000-07:00

People needing people find each other on discussion groups, in work, and in play, and on facebook and twitter and other groups on the internet. I found a person long ago through a group discussing reincarnation, and tonight watched one of her creative posts to pick up on the word depression.

Depression is a very serious illness. It has attracted a lot of attention, and supposedly, has many varieties of cures. It has a profound effect upon the person who suffers it so that person often cannot function normally as he once did.

If it is due to chemical imbalance it is believed that it can be corrected. I am not certain that anyone really does know what causes it, but it is seriously dehabilitating.

One can try to fight it but usually unless something positive can be done to correct it, the disease itself wins the battle. A person simply slumps, gives in, and lets the dreaded curtain come down until it is finally lifted.

People who have cataracts know that the problem is one of cloudiness. To some extent, depression can be likened to cataracts, but its cloudiness is not so readily and easily removed from the mentality of the person so afflicted.

The key to surviving depression is first recognizing and acknowledging it. Its definition needs to be clarified so that people who are struggling with it can actually admit to it.

closing for now.

Skype

2011-09-17T22:30:00.000-07:00

thanks to Janet Davis Bell, a former neighbor of mine from Van Wert, I tried Skype today and probably made life a muddle for me but time will tell. It has been at least 55 years or more since I had seen this gal from VW. We had been close pals at one time but lost contact with one another through time's passing and moving away from one another. I maybe disappointed her but we will see.

Skype is fun. I liked it as you can see both your partner to whom you are talking and yourself. I found that there are a lot of people on facebook who have skype so that if I wanted to see them and talk I probably could. It also taught me a lesson about friends and the future.

Time is going so fast that it won't be long and we will soon be checking out.

While I believe now that some of us do live repeated lifetimes and probably do it with friends and neighbors it is interesting to me how it is all erased from our consciousness so that to find it we have to have not only faith and belief but the will to learn of it. Whether for the good or the bad can only be determined by the person who experiences it. It has done me some good and I learn all the time.

I do have my own private thoughts which are best to be kept to one's self. I just read a poem about the Versailles that intrigued me.

I had been doing a study of gods and goddesses on live journal for some time. The mention of god in this poem made me chuckle a bit. How easily and readily people can jump the gun not knowing whereof they speak.

So it goes.

Deadline Day for Create Space

2011-09-15T13:56:00.000-07:00

Last November I began this project of writing a book about the childhood of Alexander the Great. I have actually completed it but I have decided that it needs another rewrite, more revision, and further development before I send it into a publisher. Today is the deadline for Create Space's offer of a proof book that would be free and sent free to me in paperback form. I did go to Create Space last night and filled out some information but had difficulty in communicating to them some necessary information which has put me on a Oh yeah attitude about the entire thing. I don't know if that company, the computer, or what is having problems but a problem does exist, including the popup button to have them call me. I will try my luck on the small computer to see what happens when I use it.

posting

2011-09-11T19:32:00.001-07:00

I have been having some difficulty in getting posts published in recent times making me wonder if it is due to google or to my computer. I do not know which it could be to be honest, as I am not smart enough about computers to know.

Computer assessment

2011-09-06T13:20:00.001-07:00

I just went to windows to have my computer checked and she found nothing wrong with it. I did another scan just now (the quick one) and am protected. She did suggest that I probably buy a new computer since keys are worn, and am on vista...interesting, huh? Another test now to be sure that I can publish this post.

Computer Woes

2011-09-05T22:57:00.000-07:00

This is where I know that I will know if computer is working properly or not. I have made an appointment to have it checked tomorrow so I must run a test here now.

Computer Woes

2011-09-05T22:55:00.001-07:00

This is where I know that I will know if computer is working properly or not. I have made an appointment to have it checked tomorrow so I must run a test here now.

Computer Difficulties

2011-08-21T23:46:00.000-07:00

Computers are not like cars at all. I will not compare the two. But for the moment, I am taking a chance in opening up this computer and using it. I just updated it through Microsoft so I am hopeful that there will be no problems now.

This has been a very rough week for me all due to computers. We can't live with them and we can't live without them. I have been using my cell phone for the most part but finally I opened up my laptop and am catching up on blogger photo groups that I follow. I love some of those beautiful beauty spots.

I just read a book by Shirley MacLaine which is called I Am Getting Over It, which is about each thing in life chapter by chapter which she is or has gotten over and few things which she cannot get over. It is a very interesting reading experience as Shirley reveals a lot about herself in it.

I also read a book about Louis XIV and his decisions regarding Henrietta, Louise de la VAlliree, and Nicholas Fouquet during four months of his reign. He was actually 23 when he officially became ruler after Cardinal Mazarin died. She said 22 and she had a lot of other errors in the way things were done, but I gave her a glowing review at Louis XIV group despite all those errors. Picky, picky!

I will use a video of Shirley MacLaine to follow this post as I always like to use Youtube videos for connections between post and topic. That is all for now...am dubious about computer still.

Recent Events

2011-08-13T22:30:00.000-07:00

Today has been one of those days that nobody ever wants to go through. I received a call from my bank today to ask if I had authorized a purchase for a given amount of money, and I said no that I had not. So then I was told that I need to get a new card since this card had been used for that purpose. I had let my security expire and when the company I had had asked me why I did not want to renew I told them. I had thought that was that. It clearly was not.

I had not ordered this program as I had just let it expire, but somehow or other the company received an order from my computer ordering a form of security that I had already said that I did not want. I turned against the company since I did not believe that they had done me any good at all. Someone later told me that my computer may have ordered it. From my point of view, that is totally ridiculous. Someone has proved to me though that they have information about me gained through access to my computer. Whether this is a hacker, or a virus I do not know. Frankly, I do not know the difference too well anyway.

When I was at the bank, I was unaware of the fact that this order had been given this morning on the day of the 13th. I had let it expire on the date of August 6, and was contacted by the company to explain why I had not subscribed again. I told them bluntly that they had failed me many times in terms of protection. If this is not proof of that, I do not know what is now that I think of it.

When I tried to contact this company another company answered instead, and attempted to sell me their program instead of the one that someone had sent in my name using my bank account.

I do not know exactly what all happened in this case but thank Heaven that the bank in question was on the ball, and did call me to get information from me.

So I spent the afternoon talking to a member of another company who wanted me to use their system for a set amount of money. I said no I could not do it as I do not have that kind of money in my account.

The one good thing that came out of this afternoon's conversation besides learning what their system said about my computer is that I got this blogspot repaired. I am checking now to see if that is still the case.

New improved preview popup

2011-08-13T17:30:00.000-07:00

It appears that everything is different here at Blogger since I spoke to a security person who tried to explain to me why it is that I have a problem with a security program. It would appear that someone is trying to tamper with my computer which firmly disgusts me.

security

2011-08-13T16:14:00.000-07:00

just getting started

security

2011-08-12T01:11:00.000-07:00

Free security is best.

Alexander and Aristotle

2011-08-07T21:20:00.000-07:00

I have been working on my novel about Alexander, and so occasionally I go to Pothos.org to read posts that may have popped up since I last visited the site. Today I was in luck, and someone there did something for me that I am so grateful to I could just cry. I had had a return to a cave which at one time I described well on the 'net and as I do not always knows who reads my stuff, I have no idea if that person read it or not. But someone has posted pictures from their trips to Vergina, Greece, and elsewhere so that I browsed through them. This photographer caught the image that I had described once upon a time, and wow! did it ever impress me to see that he had posted it on his website. Now whether this is a male or female I have no idea but the pictures caught my attention as I remember well when I was back there and was reading Greek and speaking Greek as easily as I now read and speak English.

He did confirm for me what I had wanted to know. I am sure now. I had thought it might be the case but was never certain since I had read something different. Now that I can see it, I know positively. Some things are missing today that were there then, but I got the picture and recall the entire thing again just like that. It made my evening complete.

Art Fern with Carol Wayne (2)

2011-08-07T21:04:00.000-07:00

Afternoon with Wynn Free

2011-08-07T20:51:00.000-07:00

I am wondering at what is wrong with blogger that they cannot simply post something as simple as what I have just written. This business of trying to tell me that there are too many edits does not sit well with me.

Let's see if they can publish this post.

I went to see Wynn Free and his friend Terry Brown this afternoon.

I was amazed to learn how strong and loud my voice was at this session. I was very much like when I was in Sacramento in the Senate side in terms of speech projection.

Once at NBC studios, when in front of the camera, I came out sounding like a woman who used to appear on the Tonight show. She drowned in Mexico years later. Last name was Wayne, but am forgetting first name.

A very kind woman by the name of Cindy brought me home. I stayed for the full session since she offered to give me a ride.

Collection of experiences in recent years

2011-08-05T23:32:00.000-07:00

I had thought that I would start a new blog listing and discussing all the unusual psychic and paranormal experiences that I have had here in the state of Arizona and other places.

But I decided that I wanted none of that. While they are interesting, true, and strange, I do not want to develop a blog on them. So I decided instead to simply write and list some of them here at this writing so as to have them in some kind of order and place.

First of all, I have always had dreams that were often clairvoyant in that soon after the dream an event would occur to show the connection between the dream and the event itself. One that always stands out for me is a time when I was a teacher in Azusa and had a dream about one of my tires. I had had my car serviced by the kids in auto shop, and unbeknownst to me, someone had overinflated one of the tires. The dream somehow alerted me to that. I had the tire fixed and learned a lesson from that. Again, even to this date, I continue to have dreams that will alert me to events in either my life or in general to phenomena that affects the entire world at large. I have dreamt of airplanes going down, as I saw a plane turn upside down when later that day it actually happened. I saw the assassination of Anwar Sadat hours before it came about. These were dreams, not visions. I have had visions as well, and they are totally different from a dream. A vision can be like an instant replay on t.v. as I have had them. I have seen many visions, one of which was Flight 800, the TWA liner that went down over Long Island on its way to France. I saw it explode in the air and later when they dragged the body and structure of the plane to the surface it had matched perfectly my illustration of that same event.

I know details about it that nobody else can know since these were shown to me in the spiritual record of the event. Two men on the edge of the cockpit saluted me, and they could only have been there in spirit as most likely their bodies were fastened to their seats when it went down.

So since then, I have had movements of objects occur within the confines of my housing, whether my house or apartment as it is ongoing still to this very afternoonl.

At first I thought it was possibly some mischievous poltergeist, a hungry coyote according to Indian folklore, and strange as it seems, I even thought it could be manipulation through psychic kinetic energy. I soon decided against most of those ideas about what could be doing these things. When Swiss Air went down, I had found two pens which both had the red x or cross at the end of the pen in my underwear drawer. I had felt a strange sensation from them, and then later we learned of the crash of that aircraft.

Some of these incidents are so strange that they appear unbelievable. I actually watched with my own eyes one of my hard boiled eggs disappear in front of me. I had told this to my dad and brother who frankly could not believe it. I was a bit perturbed because I had taken one bite out of that egg and it was perfectly cooked just the way I like it, and I watched it slowly disappear from view...nothing..all that was left was the other egg.

How that could happen. Who is to know?

But do you think it would stop there. No way! My dad and I lived together by ourselves, and there was no way that anyone was going to walk in to my house to play a trick on me. My dad was so old and so not the kind of person to even bother to deign to pull shoddy tricks, so when I found an old pair of my mother's pants, I took my own panties off, and lay them on the floor to go into try her pants on. When I came back to the bathroom to get my own underwear, in that short time, someone had placed a large round ring on top of my panties. I have kept that ring as it is quite heavy and how it got there...who is to know? I do not know, and for sure, my dad would never do such a thing as he was in his own chair in his room way across the other end of the house from mine.

So when I moved into an apartment I certainly did not expect anything unusual to happen, but on Palm Sunday I went to St. Mary's Church in downtown Phoenix and found a statue of Pope John Paul II there with a palm stem crucifix and bouquet in each of his hands. The crucifix fell at my feet and a lady behind me came up and hugged me, saying that John Paul had given it to me so why didn't I take it. I took it home with me and as I walked forward,another stem fell and I picked it up to go to a statue of children in a circle holding hands.

I brought it home. I have a picture of Jesus in a beautiful frame which has a ledge on it, and so I put the crucifix and the stem onto the ledge and went about my business.

I heard my copy machine turn on, and it went off so I went over to see what was happening and saw that the crucifix and the stem which was now curved and shaped like a fish were now sitting on top of my copy machine.

Well, I did go to the priests of the church and told them about it. I took pictures of it and I was quite excited about it as even at CVS where I had copies of my photos made, some strange things happened so that they gave me the pictures free of charge.

So then in the middle of the night at 2:00 in the morning I woke up to go into the living room and found a light shining diagonally from the picture of Jesus, and I stared at it, trying to figure why a light was there, as there is no outside source for this light, and what it was doing on my wall. It was huge, reminded me of clouds in a way, or of a clipper ship. I went to bed, fell asleep. Next night, when I went out the room was dark as normal and so I went to bed again. Following night, I go out at 4:00 in the morning and the light is back,this time in a square shape, and as bright as the first time I saw it in the cloud type shape. One cannot take pictures of light but I did take a picture of the Jesus portrait and there is a sliver of light which comes out at his side.

There is light there.

So I had a few uneventful things happen at the other apartment, mostly involving earrings on the floor, but I did not take too much notice except to notice that things often came up missing somehow.

Some I have never found.

So when I moved to this apartment, I did not think anything of it until the incident with the utility box happened, and I had trouble finding a debit card I had dropped.

Earlier, a pet pad had moved from the bedroom into the living room, and because of all the other above incidents, I realized oh no, here we go again. I knew that some invisible force did it. How many times had it not done it before, so why worry?

Movements frankly do not bother me much, but disappearances do. I am chronic because of all these things to always know right where I put things so I know where they should be.

So my cat went into a frenzy staring at something, and I could see an outline that looked like a physical being but it was invisible to the naked eye. I believe that it is the same shape as the Good Shepherd bookmark card that I found on my table in the upper right hand corner. How it got there is more than I know too. It since has disappeared.

I kept getting the thought it is Jesus. So I decided all right it is Jesus.

Well, the next thing I know I wake up one morning to go to the toilet and there is this grainy stuff all over the entire lid of the toilet and I grumbled because I had to clean it off before I could sit down, and so had to pick it up without getting it into the basin. I did think it was cat litter at first. Upon later investigation, I learned that it could not be cat litter as my litter is gray and this stuff was clearly blue.

It happened twice. Two or three days later and I forget which now, I went back, and there it is again, and I realized then that the cat could not have done. This stuff is coming out of thin air, and nothing is on the lid of the tank lid, and nothing is on the litter box lid, just on the toilet lid.

I cleaned it all off without taking a picture but realizing that the cat did not do it, and for that matter, would have wiped it off had he gone near it. He did not go near it, and he usually plays in the basin as he likes to see the water.

Phoenix had two dust storms about this time and on the second one, I suddenly realized that there was a connection. I am acutally getting the feeling it is dust to dust at this point, but water from the faucet made me think of the school play The Miracle Worker and when I thought it, the drip stopped and the leaking was ended. Then Glendale got rain in the second dust storm, and I thought hmmm. there is a connection there.

But these little grains would now show up behind the lid, the area between the lid and the tank. I left them there instead of cleaning them up. They moved then to the tub where one morning I saw a lot of them around the faucet area and another group around the center of the tub, and there I saw that when water hit them they turned into little blue snowflake type appearance. Very pretty actually.

That night I got one of my nosebleeds, and this time it was long and bad, and I had a dickens of a time getting it to stop. I looked at the spatters of blood in the sink and then at the tub and thought blueblood and just like that as with the faucet and miracleworker the bleeding stopped.

Talk about paying through the nose.

Well, I wanted to print off my copies of my novel on Alexander so I bought a copy machine yesterday at Target. Today, I looked down and on top of it was another picture of Jesus, this time in the form of the Sacred Heart.

What, again?

I took a picture of it, decided that while I am not afraid of Jesus, I guess maybe I should take this much more seriously than I had thought previously. Jesus is being very persistent here, and it is not just to protect me, or to give me comfort, but he is appearing more and more often...Do you think I know what all this means. At first, I was thinking it must mean that he is coming soon as in the second coming of Jesus.

For me, the point is that God can make something out of nothing,that something can appear out of thin air, and that things can disappear in thin air...I have been alerted to that ever since that disappearing egg.

As Jesus says, store your treasures in Heaven for nothing of the earth is of any value anyway.

One does not need to take life too seriously but at the same time, one should not ignore or ridicule the signs that are evident to prove the fact of the power of God.

I have, because of my own self discovered knowledge, realized that I have spiritual powers. I have done things that are truly unbelievable but I do not admit them to any but myself. I often say that it is the power of God within me.

Believe me, all that I am saying is that Jesus is with us here and now. Jesus is a power that is truly awesome. Love is Heaven, but there is more to life than just a state of being in "love". There is the actual and real fact of here now, gone now.

Don't doubt it. It is happening.

Sacred Heart of Jesus

2011-08-05T20:50:00.000-07:00

This is the picture of Jesus that appeared today (out of the blue) on top of my copy machine. I had taken some books off the shelf to find a recipe for bread pudding but I do not keep religious photos in cookbooks.

A box of lithium batteries appears to have fallen beside the copy machine box.

I had just purchased a new copy machine. Not sure that I am going to install the software now.

I am believing that Jesus is being persistent here now. This is the second time that something pertaining to Jesus has appeared on top of the copy machine, though not the same machine, same make.

I did go to the bible to read something in Mark but instead found Acts.Chapter 10, a story about Cornelius and Peter.

Mark 6, verse 37 through 42 is on the story of the fish and loaves.

A novena is on the back of the Sacred Heart pamphlet leaf, and nine days from today is the 14th.

I truly believe in the mystery of the loaves of bread and fish as I have witnessed the mysteries in my bathroom of blue and white flecks of granuals, which when I saw the connection to blueblood made my nose bleed stop bleeding. I relate the bloody nose to Louis XIV in a statue that is on the back of the Splendours of Versailles exhibition held in Jackson, Mississippi years ago. Louis has a red mark in one nostril, and my nose has always bled in one nostril.

Blueblood is a term designating royal family. My bleeding stopped when I connected the blue specks to blueblood. I thought that a miracle.

All this will sound strange to anyone who does not understand the mysteries of the faith.

But it is all true.

An Act of Love will tip the balance is a statement with a bird sitting on a bough which I had ordered years ago in 1973 from a convent in Indiana.

Anagrams of ACT is CAT, and my cat did an act of love today sitting on top of my Christmas plate in the shelf that he likes to climb into .

All I can say is I welcome Jesus into my life and my home and I believe in His Mysteries. I am hoping that others will do likewise.

TheNewColossus

2011-08-05T14:58:00.000-07:00

Rain

2011-08-04T00:56:00.000-07:00

Tonight I took my cat out onto the patio and learned that we had had rain this evening. I sat down in a soggy, wet cushion and realized that we had a downpour. I missed it totally but had heard a loud noise but didn't realize it must have been a thunderclap.

I am having a rough time of it today. First Wednesday in the month is ten percent off for seniors so I had to go to the grocers to get some groceries. I love grapefruit juice and orange juice so I bought two half gallons of each, and some meat at reduced prices, and some half and half and breads to make a bread pudding.

Then I checked my bank balance and hit the roof for there is a false bank balance which means that I have to go to the bank tomorrow to find out what is wrong here. I am furious about it. I get so sick and tired of bank balances being wrong.

I have noticed this twice now and this one is large enough for me to get really angry over. I am meticulous to a penny.

Am cutting this short as I have been online too long but checking out printers.

Le Chateau de Versailles

2011-08-03T22:23:00.000-07:00

Film about Muslim who rescues robber

2011-08-03T00:32:00.000-07:00

Google is a pain in the fanny with their conflicting edits.

I am posting this video which I found at Youtube with the question about the reality of the film. Did this really happen? Was it staged? I am not sure if it is for real or a piece of propaganda to convert the starving, and homeless into Muslims.

After you see it, if you do, do you think it for real or staged?

To all Who Hate muslims Must Watch

2011-08-03T00:23:00.000-07:00

Jardins Château de Versailles on Twitpic

2011-08-02T00:33:00.000-07:00

Jardins Château de Versailles on Twitpic

Jean-Baptiste LULLY - Ballet des Plaisirs (1655)

2011-08-01T23:59:00.001-07:00

Jean-Baptiste LULLY - Ballet des Plaisirs (1655)

2011-08-01T23:59:00.000-07:00

Le Carnaval de Versailles

2011-08-01T23:57:00.000-07:00

Jean-Baptiste LULLY - Ballet de Xerxès (1660)

2011-08-01T23:35:00.000-07:00

Emergency First Aid : How to Stop a Nosebleed

2011-08-01T14:17:00.000-07:00

Follow up to post about Strange happenings in my apartment

2011-08-01T13:52:00.001-07:00

I woke up in the middle of the night suffering one of my infrequent nosebleeds at 3:00 in the morning. This was one of the so called "bad" ones which means it lasts more than just a few minutes. It lasted interminably long, and always reminds me how much I am grateful for having learned of the story of Genghis Khan. Believe it or not, sometimes knowing even a little about history can help in the present lifetime.

I used a ton of tissue in trying to stop this flowing blood, and while looking at the sink where I stood to watch the blood splash speckles on the inside of the basin, all of a sudden I realized something. I must digress at this point.

The blue speckles had come back earlier that day in my bathtub. There were a lot of them this time in two different locations and as it was again early enough that I did not want to do anything but clean the tub out, I did not take photos or do anything but clean them out with a paper towel. I also thought what good do the photos do anyway, because I had just read a book about putting unknown substances under a microscope, and as I do not have a microscope, do not know any biologists who does, I decided just simply to let it all pass. I then cleaned up the litter that was on the floor and immediately saw the difference between the two substances. There is no way that one could take the blue matter for the litter after I looked at the two closely.

In addition to that, instead of one roll of toilet paper, two rolls had been moved this time. That made me think about the kind of t.p. I use which is charmin soft.

The first time the paper was moved it was not the charmin but a different type, cheap, from a local grocer and some of it is still there.

Gotta remember all these details now because later I will surely forget a lot of this.

Anyway, I am trying everything to get my bloodflow to stop, including pinching my nose, thinking everything under the sun, and then seeing the speckles of blood was reminded of the blue stuff in the tub which when hit by water enlarge and spread like blue snowflakes. I thought oh, what if it is blood, blue blood. The bleeding stopped. It has been stopped ever since. The efficacy of that thought alone stopped it.

I decided it is Jesus, and this is the manifestation of God in my home, this time in the form of blue flecks instead of white light as when it appeared in my apartment at the previous place. I contemplated that all night, did not get back to sleep, but did rest a bit, and then later in the morning finally caught three hours more of needed sleep. A part of my contemplation about why this is Jesus is that Jesus said that the bread and wine is his body and his blood. Anything that is created from God is a fleck of God...to comprehend this one must realize that the dogma of Jesus is that God appeared in the flesh so that he could teach man. In essence, God can appear in any form to reach man. Because of the instant stop of bloodflow, I believe firmly that the recognition of the specks as blood caused the hemmorhaging to end.

I realize that most people do not believe in miracles truly but I not only believe I know that they happen. To me, the appearance of the blue flecks and sometimes white is a miracle. I believe that it is Jesus who is protecting me and I have a responsibility to tell my story.

I am bit urgent in my wish that everyone would turn to Jesus to find peace of mind, hope, and salvation. But I thought of what my dad would say, and I admit that the parable of the seed came to my mind. The seed can only grow in good soil, soil that is receptive. One can only pray for those who do not believe that they may lose their hardheadedness and hardheartedness somehow.

Whether anyone who reads this believes it or not, it is all true. God bless, and blessed are those who believe but have not seen.

"Siwa Oasis and Marsa Matrouh on Bike" Samira_steve's photos around Siwa...

2011-08-01T00:20:00.000-07:00

July 31

2011-07-31T23:51:00.000-07:00

I just reread the entire 50,000 word plus work that I did for the NANOWRIMO group last November, and as I have been working on developing it I had to reread it to remember what I had done.

My theory is that the gods and goddesses in whom the Greeks believed so much at that time are the real reason that Alexander behaves and succeeds as he does. I do not believe that most people even today understand well why it is that the gods and goddesses of that kind had so much power, but when you study the literature of the day you see the influence that they had on the various personalities of the times.

So that is my running and ongoing theme in the novel that I wrote, and in fact, I am only imitating Homer to some extent. But before one can imitate, one must know his works. I have read the Iliad several times over, and while it is a fascinating literary work it is through Alexander and his friends that I criticize it.

So after rereading my own work last November, I now have to rewrite the entire novel this August so that I can have it published in September. Much of it is fine as is, and that part of it is usually the creative work that I simply made up instead of all the historical narrative which I paraphrased. That has to be totally redone and cleaned up and rewritten to appear coherent and smoothflowing. After rereading my earlier work multiple times now, and several other historical pieces, I finally have the entire picture in mind of how this novel can and should be written.

In truth, does the world need another book on Alexander? He is after all, dead and buried for all it is worth, and all that may be left of him besides simply those artifacts that people think are of value, coins, portraits, busts, etc. documents, stories, true/false, could be a soul remnant of some kind...Soul is how I got involved in this, and while I do not try to explain why it is that I had such a wonderful time exploring his life through his spiritual being, I did, and I am thus involved in writing this book so that young people can discover a side of him that few will ever realize or know besides myself.

Alexander is recognized today simply because he accomplished exceptionally extraordinary feats at a very young age. To understand why he had the power to do that requires an understanding of the environment of his day in which the people truly believed in the gods and goddesses who controlled and manipulated their lives.

Some few young people today are given responsibilities unique for their age, but so far in human history, none have ever accomplished all that Alexander did in a day and age unknown for rapid mass communication. Stories circulated then, but not in the minute of a telegraph message, a telephone call, a television image, or an internet communication. More than likely, the lack of hi tech enabled his success instead of impeding it.

By the power of Zeus Ammon, I will finish this task by August 31, hopefully.

When I Fall in Love , Karen Carpenter

2011-07-30T23:04:00.000-07:00

Elvis Presley and Karen Carpenter "Solitaire"

2011-07-30T22:42:00.000-07:00

The Carpenters - Sweet Sweet Smile

2011-07-30T22:35:00.000-07:00

Sorting Photos

2011-07-30T22:30:00.001-07:00

I spent part of the evening sorting through photos, trying to figure out a way to get these on the internet so they can be shared with family and friends. Sometimes it is easiest to take a photo of a pic by mobile or digital camera when things work right. Will try to get new printer and scanner soon and learn how to operate it...all in good time. Sorry I am so late in learning all this stuff.

Royal Prince and Princesses

2011-07-30T13:00:00.000-07:00

Through the TudorTalk discussion group, I learned of a new website featuring European Prince and Princesses,www.altesses.eu, and naturally had to look at all the portraits of Elizabeth I, but later found Louis XIII, and then Louis XIV. I placed a few of those found for Louis XIV on facebook as there is no direct link to blogger so that I can place them here. I suppose there could be a way to do it, but I am not that far along in my computer skills. I am still very basic and primitive for all the many years I have used this machine. I forget easily simple things as cut and paste already, mind you.

The pictures of Madame de Maintenon when she was only Francois d'Aubigne, a poor young girl in need of a friend, really impressed me. The artist loved her when she was a young girl in the vibrancy of her youth. The flowers that are painted beneath her portrait impressed me a lot. She was a beautiful girl and to imagine that she was wasting away as Paul Scarron's wife is not only sad for her but also for him. He could not really enjoy his marriage to her at all, and it is very easy for me to see why and how she caught the King's attention.

Portraits of her in her later years are not quite so flattering and probably do not do justice to her, for most comments about her are so positive and enchanting. Those comments do not show in the many portraits made of her.

There is a secret ceremony portrait that does not look true to me at all, but then I am certain that it came about many years after the marriage was finally acknowledged. I do not believe in this portrait much at all. It is too much a copy of his marriage to his young Spanish bride. Her portraits are quite beautiful in my opinion and I liked them a lot. She is a much overlooked and maligned young woman also.

I do have my own recollection of the marriage between the king and Francois d'Aubigne, then known as Madame de Maintenon. It did occur and it was a nighttime ceremony. She stood on his left hand side which is an important detail to know. The marriage could never be acknowledged openly in the court or in the land, but years later, France has seen fit to give honor to Madame de Maintenon. She did not suffer the same fate from the revolutionaries as did the other members of the Royal Family, so whether she knew it or not, she earned a different fate than did the other members of the family, including her own august husband.

So You Think You Can Dance Sasha & Mel (Special Guest Lady Gaga)

2011-07-28T23:42:00.000-07:00

The Girl Who Kicked A Hornet's Nest

2011-07-28T23:29:00.000-07:00

I finally saw the movie made in Sweden based on Stieg Larsson's trilogy The Girl Who Kicked a Hornet's Nest. What a movie! I did not read the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo or see the movie but I saw the last two movies and read a portion of the second and the entire third book. It was due to Barnes and Noble and my Nook application on my cell phone that I became aware of these films. I had already discussed the uncanny problem of seeing resemblances to living people and I won't discuss that any more.

The movie reached me. I saw that on So You Think You Can Dance show that the two finalists in the dance competition wore mohawk hairstyles similar to that of the main heroine in the show, LizBeth Salander. I was playing with the words salable, salacious the other day. I actually know a man whose last name is Sala.

Lady Gaga's hairstyle also reminded me a lot of the hairstyle that Salander had to wear after her operation and the side of her face was shaved. There was a yorkshire terrier in Florida one time that had his ass shaved, and I thought of an old Doris Day movie where all three yorkshire terriers are used to point out which one is wearing the real diamond. That made me think of the movie as to which of these characters is like a real live person that you know. The police car sported a number on it that is direct match and that really got to me so I know that these Swedes do know exactly what they are doing.

Need I say more, especially since Yahoo has come up with something tonight that makes me know that I needed their advice. Thanks to Yahoo for that one!

That is all I will say for now...

The Girl Who Played with Fire movie

2011-07-27T07:47:00.000-07:00

I watched The Girl Who Played With Fire last night and will watch The Girl Who Kicked The Hornet's Nest tonight. I found both at the Phoenix library when I returned my books, hidden behind a movie about Joan Rivers.

The Swedes know how to make a good film, much better than American movie makers I will admit. Americans seem to know only one kind of film any longer, and each seems to be a kind of copy of one that was made before.

After I watch The Hornet's Nest movie I will continue this post.

Dirty Dancing - Time of my Life (Final Dance) - High Quality

2011-07-24T23:13:00.000-07:00

Elvis Presley and Nancy Sinatra - Ain't nothing like a song.

2011-07-24T23:11:00.000-07:00

Dean Martin & Nancy Sinatra - Things

2011-07-24T23:08:00.000-07:00

blue moon- sha na na- flip wilson

2011-07-24T23:05:00.000-07:00

Lady Di dances with John Travolta - exclusive interview

2011-07-24T22:57:00.000-07:00

welcome back kotter- the barbarino song

2011-07-24T22:56:00.000-07:00

Karen Valentine Room 222

2011-07-24T22:23:00.000-07:00

Contemplating Death

2011-07-24T22:10:00.000-07:00

Tonight I woke up from a nap, and had serious problems with my circulation, which has happened before. I have limbs that sometimes will not move, and it is a very frightening thing to happen. My hand at one time had become numb so that it would not and could not move, and here I was with a hand limped over. I thought that I could be close to death tonight as I felt so bad and my eyesight was poor, and my circulation again had created that sense of immobility. I wonder what dying is really like, and then I came back to normal, and forced myself to move, and wondered if I should worry about this.

I ate dinner then, and am still on the salad part of it. No, I am not prepared to die, and my inner voices which give me counsel have always told me I will live several more years. If I am correct, I should live to be 87 or 88, and that is a very real possibility, all without pacemakers too.

I am of the firm belief that faith alone keeps me going as I believe that when God wants me to go, I will go.

But I am speaking of it now because I really did think that I was having too hard a time tonight, and I am wondering if I should somehow or other find future housing where I will have easy access to medics. should anything happen to me.

There is an interesting discussion on facebook about alcoholics and addiction as someone wrote a blogpost about it. I do not have a real problem with alcohol but I have been addicted to t.v., and maybe a bit to Pepsi Cola. I have cut down my use of Pepsi a lot, but the general idea is that people think that they are not worth anything at all.

People have a way of making people feel that way, and I will explain my story now.

I left California in 1974. I had returned to Azusa after a year's leave of absence, and whether to punish me or the principals I was assigned to a new school system which did not work out for me. I was placed in the 8th grade. Believe me, a reputation in a school system takes years to build, and while I had had a great reputation at Gladstone, I was an unknown at Center Intermediate. 8th grade and I are totally incompatible and while all the kids there knew that our classroom was being used for a t.v. show, the children were anything but helpful to me in keeping my job and sanity in that situation. Welcome Back Kotter was made with my classroom being used as the model for the show. T.V. made a sex change from Karen Valentine in Room 222 to Gabriel Kaplan in Welcome Back Kotter. A fellow teacher who had been a student in Azusa was also the model upon whom Kaplan based his role as well...so that it was partly my homeroom and the other guy's homeroom...I remember it well!

This story is long and I am going to break it at this point now...will place videos of both Room 222 and Welcome Back Kotter on here to follow this.

Poor tired eyes

2011-07-24T16:05:00.000-07:00

Same subject but a bit different now...I did take a soak in the tub bath, and then a shower to shampoo my hair, and I found more flecks around the walls of the tub area and on the walls that separate the toilet from the sink area..only a few but enough to assure me that these are not confined to the toilet alone. I have cleansed it all throughly and am waiting to see if any reappear. They do reappear at the toilet area but no longer on the lid. They seem to pop up from nowhere I have noticed. If it continues I will probably have to tell management but I am trying to keep and maintain my own cool head in this matter and keep it as close to my chest as possible.

Naturally, telling facebook and blogger does not seem to be sensible but I am certain that just as I don't read every single post there are many who don't read mine either and dismiss it anyway.

So I don't really worry about the readers as much as I do about people who live right next door to me.

I met a man yesterday entering an apartment that I had seen no life in at all, but now I know that someone does go in and out there. This is the most unusual place I have ever seen as it is so private with so many apartments. We see each other only at the laundry, pool, or mailbox area. I hear my upstairs neighbor all the time when he is here as the walls here are very thin.

The fences are very private and unless you are very tall, few can see inside the patios at all.

End for now...will see what happens from here on out!

I did write an excerpt of my Alexander novel today. It is very bold and forthright in discussing sex in the age for the young to have to deal with. I sent a copy to Maria to read asking what she might think. It is coldly blunt.

I am setting a tone.

Thoughts about all the activity

2011-07-23T21:38:00.000-07:00

I don't usually share all the spiritual developments in my life as there have been many, but I do occasionally share them with choice friends. My mother was very afraid that I would be considered quite suspect when I told her about some of them, and many of them happened after she passed to the other side. I wish I could believe that they are evidence of her being able to occasionally pay me a visit but so far I have not had that impression.

Let me say from the outset that there is only one person in this immediate area that I have confided in, and she was probably the wrong person in whom to confide, but I did tell her a wee bit about it. She did not know what to think or say either and I have not seen much of her recently.

Since I am also very dubious of how many people actually read my blog or facebook posts, I always take a chance that only a certain rare few will read it and understand it.

I do not want people tramping into my apartment to investigate this either. I will simply live with it until I move away from here as I cannot afford to up and run away at this point, having spent only a month here already.

This apartment is quite strange as it has mirrors everywhere which I honestly do like. I can look up and see myself in the mirror that is in the dining room, and there are mirrors on the hallway closets that are a part of the bathroom so that I see myself coming and going out of the john all the time. What I wonder is if the entity that is doing this can be seen through a mirror.

The grainy granuals were back today but in a limited number but as I had just cleaned the entire toilet area clean as could be, and it was absolutely spotless, that means that they returned so I attribute the moving the toilet paper from one place to the other to the same source that put the grains on the toilet lid.

I picked them up and felt them, and threw them out. If they come back, they will.

I do not know what to think. I fell asleep this morning on the floor by the patio and when I awoke from a dream about my brother and his granddaughter, I could feel my cat's paws touching me. I looked up and saw him give me the most comforting look. I felt as though he were trying to comfort me somehow...it was very touching.

In the dream I had just reached down and held my niece, giving her a big hug.

Then I tried to tell my brother my story and it was most difficult to get out for some reason...I woke up then.

I then left the house, went shopping for deodorant in Vitamin World and bought some shower gel and lotion at Bath and Body. Saved 75% on shower gels which should last me six months or more.

Five anyway as I bought five bottles.

It did unnerve me a bit. But what the heck...moving things around is not really a big threat to me, is it? Just annoying not to see who, what, and why in this story that feels a bit like a sci fi movie which I am not liking at all, or a horror movie if we become terrorized by it. So far, I am content to keep it a spiritual happening from a positive force doing annoying things. I admit I did use my steno machine to put on the mattress to test how the mattress would react to a heavy object so that the toilet paper did remind me of that a bit...I wish I had a camera to catch all this action...

Famous Last Words

2011-07-23T10:53:00.000-07:00

My last words in my previous blogpost have come back to haunt me.

Let me explain a few things since I explained the lock system. When I left my parent's house years ago to get an apartment I sold all my beds, mattresses, and most of the furnishings that were in the house. They were mine to have but due to economic problems I could not maintain them. I had been a caretaker for my mother during the years I lived with my mom and dad, and so when forced to leave I had to sell everything or give it to Salvation Army, and as a result, I have used only an air mattress which sets upon boxes filled with stuff that I have managed to save since I left that house.

So on that note, I have the air mattress plopped on the boxes that act as a foundation to give it height so that I also use a step stool to get into bed when I go to bed at night. It is so high that I cannot just fall onto it, but I have to climb up to get into it.

That means that when I leave to go to the john, I have to climb down over boxes to get there, and that wakes me no matter if nothing else does. It is a chore to get out of bed just to get to the john.

I am saying this because this morning after getting five hours of sleep as I finally went to sleep at 4:00, having been awake thinking of chapters for my novel on ATG, I woke up at a quarter of 9 to get up and to find my back scratcher on the floor. Naturally, I say,oh, that cat!

Then I walk into the bathroom and I find a roll of toilet paper sitting on the lid. I put photos on facebook to show this and to show how and why the cat could not have done it, and I certainly would not have done it. But earlier I had put my stenograph machine on the air mattress to check how firm it was when I set it there, and how long it would take to go down.

The air mattress has a very slow leak in it.

Until I moved into this apartment I had never experienced a leak but once here, it happened but it does still pump to full so that I can sleep on it for three hours at best. Then back to pumping it up.

At any rate, the sight of the roll of toilet paper made me gasp and say Oh. and I could see the O in the roll so that sounds a lot like my previous post also.

What the heck? This is a lot of activity in one area of the apartment, and so far I have not said anything to management. I don't honestly know what to do.

Is it a poltergeist? I had wondered if some unfortunate incident could have happened here. I think of every possibility. We had had a murder at the other apartment. Could something like that happen here too? Is there an unhappy ghost? I did not think it was Jesus this time, but it could be. I had taken my picture of Jesus knocking out at the door as there had been supernatural activity around it at the other apartment. I thought of John Paul II as he is the only John that I know that led to the Jesus experience with the crucifix of palm leaves.

Maybe it is Jesus...I just do not know what to think, but I do know that my last words were toilet paper, that google made me go through security before posting to facebook about David Casson's remarks about the gaslight treatment.

Sorry, nothing of value in this apartment except maybe a few books. An old Bible is probably about as valuable as anything here...It has exceptionally beautiful illustrations.

This is all from the inside. My cat may be capable of a lot of things but if he is capable of moving a roll of toilet paper off his litter box, I would put him on stage for sure!

No way! And I did not do it myself.

There was the scratcher on the floor as well but after I saw the toilet roll on the lid I decided that maybe the cat was not responsible for it. I did realize that we do wipe our own fannies as well as scratch our own backs in this day and age. Only Louis XIV had some attendant wipe his butt for him...maybe that is part of the message!

This is a mystery! How did the toilet paper move from the top of the litter box to the lid on the toilet? I ask you.

Photos are at facebook.

Gaslight

2011-07-23T01:44:00.000-07:00

I had written my post here about my recent experiences with strange phenomena occuring in my apartment. Yesterday, I cleaned all remaining residue from the toilet seat and cleansed out the bowl with Lysol but have learned that vinegar is a good cleanser also.

First of all, to get into my apartment I use three separate keys, one for the outside security door, one for the inside deadbolt lock, and another for the inside regular lock. The inside door locks itself automatically when I leave and so therefore I can never dare leave my keys inside but as the security door has to be locked from the outside it is likely that I carry my keys with me no matter where I go. The patio door would be the weak link, but it cannot be opened from outside when I have it locked from the inside. In other words, only if it is left open could anyone enter into this apartment.

Thanks to writing this story on facebook, a friend there did ask me if I might be given the Gaslight treatment so I had to look up Gaslight with Ingrid Bergman and Charles Boyer to understand what he is talking about.

I admit that I jumpt to conclusions a lot and while I know that most would not understand why would Jesus come to visit me anyway, I had an interesting phone call today which I made to a cousin of a cousin of mine who I had not yet met. She is an 80 year old woman who lives in the same county as I do, and so I called her to say hello and eventually told her only about the toilet, not about the dripping faucet, (which today did drip again) the credit cards, or the petpad...It was too much to tell an 80 year old woman after we had just talkd about her churchgoing experiences.

But when she did listen to my story, she asked if it were possible that someone else had a key such as the previous tenant...did they change the locks when I moved in?

I had not wanted to talk to management about this problem. I think it does make me sound looney as can be. I mean who in the world would go to the trouble to put granulated substance on my toilet lid while I am sleeping...even as a prank, it sounds too totally insane to me too.

And if I truly thought that someone was trying to do that to me I would find a way to thwart them.

Because I have had similar experiences with the great beyond in the past, my lights in my former apartment, the circle of iron at my parent's house, and the disappearing egg which I witnessed with my own eyes, I am very quick to believe that a spirit can do any number of things at will...I am thinking maybe it is OHIO after all.

I have been thinking of the injunctions all the time of the Lord Giveth, the Lord taketh away...

Ifirmly believe that this is an action of Jesus. The bookmark of the Good Shepherd convinced me at first but the finding of the debit card in front of the picture of Jesus made me know that it is true. Besides, I receive thoughts and the thought that I had been receiving is that it is Jesus who is doing this.

The entire tub and toilet area is spotlessly clean as of now.

I did see something on the internet that Bill Gates is saying that toilets are one of the most needed items in many parts of the world. I do not doubt it. Maybe the message is to bring toilets to all the people of the world.

And toilet paper!